Expert: J.M.J. West - 11/9/2008

Question
Dear Mr. West,
   I was married in the Catholic Church when I was twenty-five. I was married
for eight years when my husband had an affair, divorced me, and remarried.
It has been eighteen years since then and I have not pursued another
relationship.
Am I allowed to receive communion?

Thank you for your help!

Answer
Diana,

I am terribly sorry to hear about your circumstance.  The short answer is, Yes, assuming no other impediments exist, you may get married.

The long answer is that marriage in the Catholic Church are sacramental and indissoluble by everything but death of a spouse.  When one spouse leaves the sacramental marriage through a civil divorce, they have done nothing to the sacramentality of the marriage - in the eyes of the church they are still married.  If they then go on to remarry (again, civilly), the prior sacramental marriage still stands, and they they are living as though they were married with one to whom they are not married.  Thus Jesus says in Mark 10:11-12, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

When a sacramental marriage is shared, NEITHER party is free to simply leave and marry another.  Any party who does has cut himself or herself off from communion with the church and thus from Communion itself, which is the highest sign of our oneness in Christ as his body.

If one party leaves and another remains as they were before the civil divorce (as in your case), the one who has not sought to remarry has committed no grave sin, and is essentially a victim of the sins of another.  They, through no fault of their own are in this predicament (i.e. they didn't re-marry anyone), and so they are free to receive the sacraments insofar as they are otherwise able (eg. free from mortal sin, not in schism, etc.)  Such a party, presuming the marriage to have been valid, is not free to marry again, however (as you have not).

That said, it is possible to seek an annulment of marriage.  All marriage between baptized persons are presumed valid and thus sacramental, but if it can be clearly shown that one or both parties were not actually seeking a sacramental marriage, it is possible that the church, upon investigation, could declare the previous "marriage" as null (hence, annulment), meaning it never actually existed.  They are not making it null, but declaring that from the beginning it did not exist.  Given your circumstances (what little I do know about them), you may have been an a null-marriage from the beginning.

MORE HERE:
On Communion:
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_d...

On Annulments:
http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/1999/9909fea2.asp

Hope that helps.  

God bless!

-J.M.J. West

FOLLOW-UP:
A note on your message:  First, thank you very much for your kind words.  I will, simply as your brother in Christ, remind you that - unless circumstances do not permit (such as illness or lack of practical means to get there), as Catholics we are obliged to attend mass weekly.  To intentionally miss mass is a mortal sin (though if you were unaware of this, it might mediate some of the responsibility for the action).  I'd greatly encourage you to begin attending regularly if at all possible.  I'm also a huge fan of confession, and if it's been a while, you might consider going.  Even if you've not committed a mortal sin, it can help you get your life back in order!

Hope that helps.

Peace of Christ,

-J.M.J. West