You are here:
- Home
- Religion/Spirituality
- Christianity - Catholicism
- Catholics
- Marrying outside the church.
Catholics/Marrying outside the church.
Advertisement
Question
Good Morning. I am a thirty year old Catholic man with a history of premarital sex, having two children out of wedlock with two different women. I have a third child with my wife after we had been married but there is a catch. We were married in a civil setting. I have confessed to my evils prior to my marriage, received absolution and communion however this morning I went to confession and the priest told me he couldn't absolve me because of my civil marriage to my wife. I love her and am faithful to her and will always be. To read further into it finding out it puts me in a state of mortal sin is so frightening and discouraging. I feel so dead inside. I truly did not believe that it was wrong at the time. I am not sure if she is even a baptized catholic. Now I cannot receive Holy Communion or the sacrament of Penance. I have been suffering from a horrible mental illness lately that is affecting me physically and always felt it was punishment for my sins but I never thought my marriage was a sin. I feel lost.
Hi, John:
Thanks for the question.
Did the Priest who refused you absolution even try to direct or encourage you to get married in the Catholic Church (by the laws of the Church, and by the Authority of the Church)?
Provided that neither you nor your current wife needs an anullment; then you are probably free to marry.
So just approach the Priest or office staff of one of your local Catholic Parishes, explain your circumstances, and express your desire to get married in the Church. I would certainly hope that they would be willing to help you and work with you. If not, I can't really do anything about it over the internet from a Q & A blogspot...
All I can do is encourage you to make the arrangements to get married in the Catholic Church.
Fr. Timothy Johnson
Related Articles
- Married Catholic Priests: Why are Some Catholic Priests Married? Will Celibacy Remain a Requirement?
- Questions About Catholicism - Questions About Catholicism From Readers
- Requirements for Marriage in the Catholic Church - Catholic Marriage Requirements
- Penance: A Sacrament of Healing - Catholicism
- Catholic Priests, Celibacy, and Marriage: Should Catholic Priests Marry or Remain Celibate?
Answers by Expert:
Fr. Timothy Johnson
Expertise
A Traditional Catholic Priest, validly and licitly ordained, incardinated legally and canonically in the Diocese of Fargo, and in good-standing with my Local Ordinary (Bishop) on active assignment at a rural Tri-Parish. I can provide honest and balanced answers to questions on topics pertaining to Traditional Roman Catholicism of the Latin Church (Councils of Trent and Vatican II)and a lot about the Eastern Catholic Churches, including the Sacred Liturgy, Sacred Scripture, Church History, the use of the Latin language, the tradition of Sacred Music, and current events in the Catholic Church from a traditional, historical and balanced perspective.
Experience
I have been ordained a Roman Catholic Priest since June 2001.
Organizations
Knights of Columbus; Church Music Association of America (CMAA)
Education/Credentials
Ordained Priest, 02 JUN 2001; Ordained Deacon, 27 JAN 2001; MA - Dogmatic/Systematic Theology;
MDiv - Professional Degree from Seminary;
2-Years formation with Canons Regular of Premontre including studies and experience in Sacred Liturgy, Chant, Latin, Sacraments, Spirituality.
BA - Scholastic/Thomistic Philosophy;
BA - Liberal Arts;
AA - General Studies.
Past/Present Clients
I serve 3-small, rural Parish Communities in Easter North Dakota
I converted to the Roman Catholic Church in 1981, at the age of 15.
Over the years I have done work as an organist, cantor, and choir director for the Latin Rite (English & Latin) Mass (Liturgy of the Eucharist), and even for the Hours of the Divine Office.
I have worked as a cantor for a Melkite Byzantine Catholic Church.
Presently my pastoral and administrative duties as a Catholic Priest do not allow me as much time as I used to have to devote to Sacred Music; but for my weekend Masses and Solemnities within my Tri-Parish, I offer High Sung Mass in English. Weekday Mass is typically Low Mass (recited Mass) in English, though on occasion I will offer the "Tridentine Mass" in Latin, which I usually offer on my "Day Off", as well. And now, in light of the "Motu Proprio" by his Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI placing the extraordinary usage of the Roman Rite back into the mainstream of the Catholic Church, I have been offering a regularly scheduled SUN, 2:00 PM Tridentine Latin Mass with a community of the faithful that has a stable existence.
©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.