Expert: Fr. Timothy Johnson - 2/26/2008

Question
QUESTION: I am catholic and currently going through the annulment process. I am highly doubtful that it will be completed in time for my upcoming marriage to my fiance who is methodist. Our wedding date is 8/9/08. We meet monthly with a priest at the church I attend for marriage preparation in case the annulment is done in time we would be okay to be married in the Catholic Chuch. Our priest mentioned that if we do not have the annulment by June we would have to look at other alternatives. Can you give me an idea of what those might be? We thought of changing our date but what if the annulment is not granted afterall. So we have decided to stick with our date.  Can we be married civily and then convalidated in the church if/when the annulment goes through? Can I get dispensation to be married his my fiance's church so I can still remain Catholic? Thank you for your help.

ANSWER: Hi, Amy:

Seems to me that you ought to get the details to these questions from the Priest you are meeting with once per month.
I am kind of surprised that a Priest would meet with you for "marriage prep" without an anullment, which would be the only way that you would be "free to marry" in the Catholic Church (i.e. by the Authority of the Catholic Church) without the impediment of a prior marriage bond (ligamen).
There is no such thing as a dispensation from "ligamen", because by the very nature of marriage, either you are married already, or you are not, in terms of the Sacrament in the Church.
You sound pretty certain that an anullment WILL be granted: I have to ask, "Are you sure about that?"  That seems a little presumptuous, since this process is to determine in forensic analysis whether the previous marriage bond was truly joined by God, or not.  Seems to me that you are just waiting to see the outcome.
I suppose that you could always bring your case to the Church for a convalidation, after one year, if you go ahead with a "civil marriage".  I would not advise or counsel such a course of action, because I do not want to share in mortal sin by counsel.
I would ask you to look deeper into the value your Catholic Faith even has for you.  I fail to understand how people get so head-strong and willful about their personal life agenda, completely apart from the practice of Catholic principles.  It seems so mercenary to me.  It's like saying: "Oh, well, God.  If this stuff works out for me, then fine; but if not, forget You and my life as a member in good standing and full communion with the Church Your Son, the Lord Jesus Christ established."
Being in mortal sin does not make a Catholic into a non-Catholic; it just makes one a Catholic in mortal sin with the serious need for repentance and conversion in life.

Fr. Timothy Johnson

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I don't think I am being presumptuous that I will get an annulment because I mentioned that I don't know if I WILL get one at all and that is why we chose not to change our date of our upcoming wedding. I am a confused Catholic. I was away from the Church for the 2yrs going through my divorce and have felt something missing religously in my life during that time.  I finally got up the courage to see a priest last August after having been proposed to by my boyfriend. While my fiance and I were discussing upcoming wedding plans initially we thought just to have an officiant marry us at an outdoor setting but again I felt something missing here. God is what is missing. When I met with the priest he never told me I had to change my wedding date and he assisted me with getting the annulment started. I asked him if it isn't granted or in time what we would do and he did not seem to concerned about having a civil wedding and then convalidating it in the church afterwards.  I do enjoy attending mass again and feel I belong somewhere again. I just really wanted another opinion.
Thank you.

Answer
Ok, thanks, Amy:

Best of luck to you... As a Priest and Pastor of souls, I just believe that there is a question here, and in all human acts as moral choices, a question of eternal salvation or damnation.  I honestly hope that you get all the details worked out, are able to make a good confession, get absolution and reconciled to God and the Church, and are able to enter into a valid sacramental marriage.

Fr. Johnson