Expert: Fr. Timothy Johnson - 2/22/2008

Question
Dear Father Timothy,  My 38 year old younger sister who lives near Chicago  has stopped going to mass for years.  Recently, we were able to get together and in a close moment she confided that she would really like to go back to church, but she has some problems and does not know how to reconcile them.  She has    mild OCD and really dislikes/fears/dreads in the new mass, the practice of holding hands during the Lord's Prayer and the sign of peace.  It goes beyond germs with her -- it is also a  fear of embarrassment when you turn to someone who ignores you or  makes you feel left out.  This taints the whole mass experience for her.  She told me that for this year, she was going to practice Lent by praying a bit every day.  When she told me that, I felt like I had a responsibility to help her.  I know that not all Catholic churches practice the sign of peace.  How would I find one in the Chicago-Western suburbs region that would have a mass that could make her feel comfortable enough to stay?  It will be a natural outgrowth of Lent to go to mass for Easter, I would guess.  I am hoping you might provide me a lead or two as to churches, and I could relay that to her.  Please help.  Thanks.  Rosemarie

Answer
Hi, Rosemarie:
Thanks for the questions and concerns.
Living in Eastern North Dakota myself, I am not much acquainted with the details of the Chicago-Western suburbs region; but I suspect that with the much greater population of that area compared to my area, you could probably just about find anything on the scale in terms of "style" of celebration of the Mass at RC Parishes.
Of course "holding hands during the Our Father" is an ABUSE, and is not supposed to be done, anyway...
The "Sign of Peace" as given in the USA and other western nations, that consists of a hand-shake with one's nearest neighbors, may always be omitted.  Personally I hope that something can be done about the "Sign of Peace" to restore it again as TRULY a sharing of the Peace of Christ mediated from the Altar by some more worthy and litiurgically sober gesture - but I digress...
Do some research.  Talk to friends and neighbors about any Parish they know of where the hand-holding and invitation to the "Sign of Peace" is not employed in the particular celebration of the Mass.
Of course any Latin Tridentine Mass offered in the area would not have these things, but you would want to make certain that it is at a Parish that has a REGULAR canonical status with the Local Ordinary (i.e. the Bishop), not an "independent" or some kind of "splinter group" of "traditionalist neo-protestant" group that shares with protestants the rejection of Catholic Church authority.
Additionally, you could just use the "yellow pages" and call each Catholic Church in the area, and just ask them "point-blank" whether they carry out any of those practices (unlawful, or even lawful) that your sister finds to be objectionable.
+ God bless you.

Fr. Timothy Johnson