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Question
I'm 24yrs old and was married about 2 1/2yrs ago outside of church because I'm Catholic and he wasn't. We had a child. We are now going through a civil divorce. I know one day I will meet the right man and will want to get married in the Catholic church. The marriage has ended for a number of reasons, one of them was the inability for the soon to be ex-spouse's sexual perfomance. He's 27yrs old and was unable to perform proprly on a reguar basis and even with the help of medication. Woud that be grounds for an annulmnent, or would I really not be able to get one because of th fact that we were together for atleast 2 yrs ad during that time the problem started happening. I stayed because we were havin a child and I really wanted to try and make things work since we were having a baby. Please give me advice and let me know if I have any grounds to stand on...... Oh, if I get an annulment done at one Catholic church can I get married at another one?
Thank You,
Stephanie.
Hi, Stephanie:
Thanks for the question.
I am sorry to hear about your situation, though I find your reasoning to be pretty cold and non-understanding in regards to the man you married, even if only in a civil ceremony outside the Catholic Church.
Did you do any kind of marriage preparation with a Priest, and get any and all necessary permissions and dispensations to ger married in a ceremony outside the regular Catholic liturgical ceremony?
If you did not go through the process to observe or be dispensed from "Canonical Form" to which you as a Catholic are bound, then the marriage is not recognized as a valid sacramental marriage in the Catholic Church anyway (and you would not be looking at an anullment case; rather a "lack of form").
Do you have any connection to a local Catholic Parish Church, and even make any attempt at all to practice your religion at this time?
I would recommend that you bring this matter to the local Priest who should be able to assist you at the procedural and lawful level within the Church. He may or may not have expertise or experience in "counseling." Though your current marriage is probably not lawful, valid, and sacramental in the eyes of the Church, the two of you are still having a child together. You need to consider whether there is any value in anything about the relationship worth looking into and working on...
Maybe there are deeper issues in which you could both grow? Maybe he has a medical condition, but is a loving person? Maybe you have personality issues that are just a total "turn-off", and if those were addressed, maybe that could help the relationship? Of course there are always two-sides to every story, and I am not getting every last fact and detail in a short question/answer format of this forum; and so, again, I encourage you to take this up in person with the local Parish Priest.
Fr. Timothy Johnson
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Fr. Timothy Johnson
Expertise
A Traditional Catholic Priest, validly and licitly ordained, incardinated legally and canonically in the Diocese of Fargo, and in good-standing with my Local Ordinary (Bishop) on active assignment at a rural Tri-Parish. I can provide honest and balanced answers to questions on topics pertaining to Traditional Roman Catholicism of the Latin Church (Councils of Trent and Vatican II)and a lot about the Eastern Catholic Churches, including the Sacred Liturgy, Sacred Scripture, Church History, the use of the Latin language, the tradition of Sacred Music, and current events in the Catholic Church from a traditional, historical and balanced perspective.
Experience
I have been ordained a Roman Catholic Priest since June 2001.
Organizations
Knights of Columbus; Church Music Association of America (CMAA)
Education/Credentials
Ordained Priest, 02 JUN 2001; Ordained Deacon, 27 JAN 2001; MA - Dogmatic/Systematic Theology;
MDiv - Professional Degree from Seminary;
2-Years formation with Canons Regular of Premontre including studies and experience in Sacred Liturgy, Chant, Latin, Sacraments, Spirituality.
BA - Scholastic/Thomistic Philosophy;
BA - Liberal Arts;
AA - General Studies.
Past/Present Clients
I serve 3-small, rural Parish Communities in Easter North Dakota
I converted to the Roman Catholic Church in 1981, at the age of 15.
Over the years I have done work as an organist, cantor, and choir director for the Latin Rite (English & Latin) Mass (Liturgy of the Eucharist), and even for the Hours of the Divine Office.
I have worked as a cantor for a Melkite Byzantine Catholic Church.
Presently my pastoral and administrative duties as a Catholic Priest do not allow me as much time as I used to have to devote to Sacred Music; but for my weekend Masses and Solemnities within my Tri-Parish, I offer High Sung Mass in English. Weekday Mass is typically Low Mass (recited Mass) in English, though on occasion I will offer the "Tridentine Mass" in Latin, which I usually offer on my "Day Off", as well. And now, in light of the "Motu Proprio" by his Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI placing the extraordinary usage of the Roman Rite back into the mainstream of the Catholic Church, I have been offering a regularly scheduled SUN, 2:00 PM Tridentine Latin Mass with a community of the faithful that has a stable existence.
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