Expert: Fr. Timothy Johnson - 4/30/2008

Question
Father,

My son has decided to get married to a Lutheran girl in her church. I am very disturbed because he has not made known any intension that he will be getting his marriage blessed by the Catholic Church.

My wife has spoken to a priest in our parish and he doesn’t have a problem with it as long as the children are raised Catholic. His intended is strong in her faith as is her family. My son seems to take or leave his Catholicism.

What I need to know is; what is my obligation as a Catholic with respect to this wedding? I have submitted questions to other religious sites and do not get an answer. I have been reading web pages that seem to suggest I should not take part in the wedding service. I have written to my son about my concerns and mailed the letter yesterday. He lives in Chicago and I live in south Florida.

Please remit with directions.

Sincere thanks, I will keep you in my prayers.

Steve  

Answer
Hi, Steve:
Thanks for the question.
I am saddened that an ostensibly Catholic Priest would have no problem with a baptized Catholic young man marrying outside the authority of the Catholic Church established by Jesus Christ, and choosing to break "Canonical Form".  At the least I should think that he would be saddened by such a thing, and concerned for the salvation of the soul of your son, which is what Jesus as Savior and the Catholic Church is all about.
If your son wishes to be a practicing Catholic in-good-standing, why do not he and his fiancee simply attend marriage instruction with the local Parish Priest, and get the necessary permission for mixed religion marriage, and a dispensation from Canonical Form, so that they can lawfully hold the marriage and have the vows received by a non-Catholic minister?
The deeper issue here is your son's attitude...You mention that he just takes and leaves his Catholicism, which means he doesn't really care, anyway, and certainly does not take his obligations seriously as a Catholic.
Is it a first marriage for both?
Are there any other complications apart from the fact that your son is a selfish little hedonist, ungrateful to his Catholic upbringing and duties to God and Church?
In such a case, it sounds as though you would have quite some distance to travel from Florida to Chicago.  Let him know that if he wishes you to be present at the wedding, then he ought to consider at the least providing you airfare for the journey.  Then you might be present, not to support every last aspect of his current religious choices; but just his desire at some "natural level" to get married and start a family - to be the man, grow up, and take responsibility at some level in life.
Keep praying for his conversion to the Truth of Jesus Christ in the fullness of communion with the Holy Catholic Church.
If it is a second marriage for either of them, I personally would not even give it the time-of-day to attend.
You might let him know that what would REALLY be worth your purchasing plane fare would be the ability to come witness him come to compunction, repentance and conversion, and come to the full and actual practice of the Catholic Faith.  To walk with him into a Church on a SAT afternoon, see him wall in and take the time to make a good confession, celebrating the Sacrament of Penance, and then assisting at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass with devotion and gratitude, and true piety worthy of God and family... And then to continue in the firm resolution to be strong in Faith, informed in mind of the Catholic Faith, and persevere in the practice of the Love of God through the Saving Power of Jesus Christ, in the safe harbor of the Holy Catholic Church, Mother and Teacher.
Do you believe in miracles?
Pray for one now...
+ God bless you, and best of everything: Happy Easter!

Fr. Timothy Johnson