Expert: Griff Ruby - 4/5/2008

Question
Hi, when I get married do you think I will be able to know how to have sex? do you think it is something God taught us all naturally once we get married. do you think I will learn when I get married? I know how it sounds but I am afraid I will not be able to know how to make love to my wife? please help, what should I do once I get married?

Answer
While it seems extraordinarily unlikely that a person could slip through today's sex-drenched culture without being exposed to all the nitty-gritty details, I guess there always manages to be one or two here and there who somehow escape.
Given such odds, the odds are equally low that one's spouse would have also similarly slipped through.  And even in that event, there are always other married couples in one's parish from whom these things can be learned when the time comes, or books the priest can recommend.  There is no rush.  There is nothing to be said for coming in with all knowledge and experience etc. as these were classically things that the couple would discover together, taking their time and being gentle and patient.  It's not like your wedding night is going to be that you take a test and if the score isn't good enough you fail.
And in the meantime while you are still single there is no need to waste any brain-space on learning what is presently of no use to you.  So don't worry, many women like to the the one to show their man "the ropes," so you needn't worry about this even once things start getting serious with someone.  And even once married it could actually be rather nice taking things a bit slow, taking some time to get to know each other better and learn how to live together (but only after marriage!) before pursuing this knowledge and embarking upon making a family.