Expert: J.M.J. West - 6/18/2008

Question
Dear J.M.J,

             I feel for some reason called to become a sister. I want to become a nun, I just dont know why but I try to not think about it and I say well maybe I could get married and such then I said to myself again well maybe I could help others in another way without being a nun. Then I say well maybe I could have a boyfriend and such. And then the thought of religious life comes back! It is an occurring on going process....

Is this a true calling. When I was graduating eighth grade I wanted to go to an all girls catholic school but I ended up going to a public school. Peer pressure got to me, and girls would always pick on me. They said to me why dont you have a boyfriend like every girl in her does. I said I dont want a boyfriend, I want to become a nun. Then they laught at me and said A nun and they pushed me constintly and said Okay Mother superior whatever. And laught at me until the bell for the third class rang. I told them to let me be. I even said please for the sake of God let me be. And they said Oh look she is a christian. And then pushed me and said to me in my face I hate goody toot shoes especially christians like you and I was pushed in the mud.

It was horrible. I wanted to transfer. The teachers even laught at me. And they said A nun you cant be a nun. You are worthless. I was always crying when I came home from school. One of my teachers Mr. Gallegher was devouted to getting me to graduate. And he said to me you can be anything if you put your focus to it. He told me I think you would make a great nun. And he gave me a hug. I loved that teacher more then any others in my highschool.

taught me well. My Catholic Faith has sustained me for twenty two years. I am twenty two now. Fr. Charles was my priest in my childhood days. And now in my Teen to young adulthood is Fr. Peter Palmisano. He is the most awesome and talented Priest I know. He has been a priest for over 15 years. I am pouring myself into the rich, wonderful Catholic traditions. There has to be something very right and truthful in a Faith that would cause a woman to become Catholic, practice it, and return to it! I did for a time in my teens fall away but I returned in 2004 I was always catholic but I fell back and was depressed.

I am against the Vatican II I just do not like it at all. We still hear the pre-Vatican II Tridentine Mass my church is one of them they are Old Italian and say Old Italian mass daily. I didnt like it in my highscool days, from being teased for being catholic. I cried so hard that I couldn't breathe. My spiritual director Sr. Marilyn Marie a Felician nun. She called me her "American Latina Girl".  learned early on that not very many people respect the poor. In the days of my youth, I saw our LADY she appeared to me and told me my vocation and said to me: Pray the Rosary every day, in order to obtain peace for the world.

"I am a Mother to the souls in Purgatory, and each hour through my prayers the pains of those devoted to me are lightened."  Can we imagine what a comfort it must be for souls devoted to her when this kind Mother visits that place of suffering?

I had a vision of Purgatory once when I was praying my Rosary.  I saw that at each Hail Mary those souls received a spray of cool water that relieved them in their burning torments.

Then her son said to me: "Remember, My children, come to My Mother; for in Her memory of Her human days upon earth, She above all humans created--sinless, without the stigma of sin, a perfect life upon earth without sin, and assumed into Heaven, body and spirit—She above all can direct you because She is your Mother; She is the Queen of Heaven, and the Mother of every human being upon earth." - Jesus,

So do you think I may be called to become a nun? What am I going to do? I want to tell the bishop but he is always busy how am I going to do what our lady asks of me?


Answer
Jacqueline,

Thank you for your question.  I'm glad to see you're open to religious life (my wife and I are Benedictine Oblates ourselves).

It sounds very much like you may be called to some form of religious life (nun or sister, the difference being that typically nuns are cloistered).  Most convents/monasteries have lengthy trial periods of multiple years (postulency, novitiate, simple vows, formal vows).  It couldn't hurt to check around at a few places that interest you.  Many will let prospective sisters stay with them on retreat to get a feel for the life even before any formal entrance.

"I am against the Vatican II I just do not like it at all. We still hear the pre-Vatican II Tridentine Mass"

You are free to disagree with the correctness of such council (it is binding as an ecumenical council, but not 'infallible' because it didn't address doctrine).  However, I'd be more kind in your wording.  As it is, and as you know, while many changes happened in the wake of Vatican II, the Tridentine mass (and the 1963 version of Paul VI mass) is still said.

"In the days of my youth, I saw our LADY she appeared to me and told me my vocation and said to me: Pray the Rosary every day, in order to obtain peace for the world."

If she told you your vocation, then I'd follow that or at least give it credence.  Did she say be single?  Get married?  Religious life?

Nevertheless, there is no harm in investigating a few religious orders.  Here's a handy site that might help:

http://www.vocation.com/

Hope that helps, and good luck with your calling.  We need more good brothers and sisters.

Pax Christi,

-J.M.J. West