Expert: Fr. Michael - 7/17/2008

Question
Hello Father,

I am interested in getting more info on annulments. I was married for 10 yrs and have an 8yr old son. We divorced in '05. I feel that we did have a REAL marriage in the beginning. Wouldn't an annulment say that my marriage was doomed from the start? I feel that we both meant our vows @ the time and for 3-4 yrs in to the marriage. My husband chose to cheat on me. We tried counseling but it did not work since he never got rid of his girlfriend. I guess because of my son, I could never say my marriage wasn't real in the eyes of the catholic church.
Thank you for your time.
Suzette

Answer
Many people do not understand what an annulment, or (more
accurately) declaration of nullity, is.  It has nothing to do with what happened *after* the marriage was entered into.  It relates only to an invalidating defect *at the time of* the marriage that rendered the contact null and void.  After all, the marriage contract (exchange of promises) was publicly entered into "for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Remember the warning before the marriage contract is entered
into:  "If anyone knows why these two should not be joined in Holy
Matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace"  That is intended to ferret out any nullifying causes before the marriage is entered into, for example, one of the parties is already married, one of the parties is under the age of consent, or the parties are related to one another in too close a degree by consanguinity or affinity.