Expert: Tom Schott - 9/3/2008

Question
Hello Sir,

My Fiance and I are both Catholic, born and raised in the Faith.  We have both attended Catholic Schools and received the sacrements of baptism, Holy Communion, Confirmation, and are scheduled to attend marriage classes in September.  We have scheduled our Wedding Ceremony at her parish church in Kentucky later this month.  However,  some questions have been raised about this due to the fact we went to Mexico this past July and had a civil wedding.  We were not Married by a Priest in Front of The Lord.  A local Judge joined us on a beach.  We always were under the impression that we could still receive the Sacrement of Marriage through our Church and continue building a family in the Church.  Did we do something wrong?  Have we dishonored our Families, Ourselves and the Church?  We have received a lot of criticism since July, prior to July there were no outside objections.  Should we cancel our wedding for September 27th?  Should we make a public apology to the Church and our Families?   Should we expect our families to support us unconditionally as the scripture teaches?  As a devout Catholic and believer in my faith and the Sacrements and their importance,  I need help understanding the doctrine.  I hope your answer will help us and our families.  This has caused many problems and divided a strong family.  I look forward to answers.  We are very sorry and have scheduled a confession before the wedding.

Peter Nannery

Answer
Peter,

You should put your mind at ease. What you describe here has nothing to do with doctrine, but with church rules. What you and your wife did when you got married in Mexico was violate a church rule that requires the permission of the bishop to be married anywhere other than in a Catholic church.in front of a priest or deacon. What is required now of you is that you meet with your pastor or parish priest and get them to file a paper called a "Defect of Form" with the diocese. This is a very simple procedure, and a very common one. It is not a big deal.

I don't think you did anything wrong. A lot of people don't know about the requirement to obtain the bishop's permission, or they don't even think about it. This is certainly no reason to postpone your wedding. Nor is there any reason for you to make any apologies. You broke a rule; you did not sin.