Expert: J.M.J. West - 1/17/2009

Question
I am a Hindu married to a catholic in the church. My husband n me were in a
courtship for 4 years before we got married. After which we were married
almost for 2.5 years. When I was around 6 mths pregnant my husband asked
me to go n stay at my moms place for a few mths as he felt I was gettin very
hyper. We had an argument n he requested me to go. He use to not call or
be in touch while I was at my moms place later I realized that he was seeing
someone else . We have already been divorced now. I tried surviving our
relationship for 2 years but he didn't want to do anything with me I'd the child.
He now wants an anulment which I donor agree to . Infact I want the church
to take a firm step against him n his family. I believed in my promise that I
made in front of Jesus. Though I am married again I dont mind him marrying
but not in church. The lord does not agree to adultery n the church should
not agree to the anulment as well . Please advise what I should do

Answer
Priyanka,

Thank you for your question, and I'm very sorry to hear about your predicament.  To answer your question, we need to be clear on a few points:

There are two "kinds" of marriages, "natural" marriages and "sacramental" marriages.  Natural marriages are what have taken place since the beginning of time, and as Christ himself made clear, the two are viewed as becoming one and OUGHT to be inseparable, but not being sacramental, they are dissoluble under certain circumstances (Christ made it clear that Moses permitted divorce due to our hardness of hearts, and it was never to have been entered into lightly).

Sacramental marriages, however, take place between two BAPTIZED parties who are married in good faith.  It IS indissoluble by everything but death itself.  However, it is possible for two baptized persons to enter into what appears to be a sacramental marriage but which actually was not due to some mitigating circumstance (i.e. they were not intending to fulfill their marital duties to love freely, faithfully, totally and fruitfully).  In such case, the church may render that the apparent sacramental marriage never happened, leaving the parties free to enter into a valid, sacramental marriage.  You cannot be in more than one sacramental marriage at a time, and the only thing that ends them is death.  Sacramental marriage is a covenant which cannot be ended by man.

This said, if you are not a baptized person, you would not have entered into a valid SACRAMENTAL marriage, but would have had a valid NATURAL marriage.  Being married in a church building is not the same as being married "in the Church".

The guidelines for such marriages are laid out by St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:

"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?  ... a woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.*** In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God."

So St. Paul is pretty adamant that your husband ought to remain with you unless you yourself, being a Hindu, were unwilling to live with him (this, incidentally, was addressed more for the early converts where one spouse would convert AFTER marriage).  

That said, I do not know all the relevant facts, and I am not a marriage tribunal.  I'd urge your husband to reconsider his relationship, but if this was not a sacramental marriage, he would technically not need an annulment to pursue a sacramental marriage.  (Other factors may impede him, however, and he does not count as though he's ready for marriage, period - my general rule of thumb is that the party who is leaving and cheating is generally not ready for marriage commitment, and were that person to remarry, the same problems will often re-arise.)

Were you to convert and be baptized, it would be possible to have your marriage blessed and made sacramental were you two reconciled.

I don't know that this was the answer you wanted, but it is the answer as the Church will most likely see it.  I am very sorry for your predicament, and I wish you the best of luck and will pray for you.