Question QUESTION: A dilemma in my family. Wife (of 30 years) and I have five children. Daughter number 3, aged 25, has developed a close relationship with a young doctor just out of residency. He is a Baptist. They are close and I believe they will end up in marriage. Not living together, daughter has masters degree in marriage and family counseling and is an all around fine young lady, practicing her Catholic Religion and taking boyfriend to mass from time to time. The subject of him becoming Catholic is discussed occasionally and he is non-committal but says he is open. The dilemma. The young doctor is absolutely liked and enjoyed by all member of the family, all other siblings, all relatives and he is considered with respect and is a caring, loving, helpful and hard working fellow and all agree. Except the wife. My wife believes that the boyfriend has an unholy soul, that he is a very weak person and says that he is manipulative and lying and she claims to dislike him immensely due to the condition of his soul and his sneakiness. (None of these characteristics are seen, noticed or imagined by any of the siblings or other family members who all like him a great deal). The wife is so set in her ways as to disliking this person that she ignores him at functions and is only ever so slightly obligatorily polite which is obvious to all that she is doing this. The daughter is deeply hurt by this and it is obviously causing estrangement of growing proportions. The worst part is that my wife claims to be able to see into his soul in ways that others cannot and thus we can't see the evil and wickedness of his ways and thus she insists that the man is very bad for her. I'm extremely saddened by this as it is causing considerable antagonism within the family to say the least. As I said, it is very clear that the two plan to be married at some point and this disturbs my wife terribly. The worst part of this is that I believe our holy souls are strictly and totally the domain of God and are there at his pleasure. I in no way accept the fact that she is able to see or even come close to having such powers as to see into anothers soul, much less then claim it is so bad as to cause major family disruption. By the way, the wife is a masters graduate from a Catholic University in Theology. I believe I'm right that the soul is only for the divine and it is God's territory. Am I correct and can you point me to any scripture or the like that could/would clarify this for me and possibly for her? Thank you so much.
ANSWER: Hi Scott,
You have my sympathy and prayers a difficult situation.
While not at all wishing to 'takes sides' as it were in fact your wife is quite right and there is a mystical gift of reading souls. Many saints have shown forth this gift especially in the confession box. I instance the Cure of Ars {Saint John Vianney}, Saint Padre Pio . Saint Leopold Mannic and Saint Joan of Arc also had this ability. But reading through the lives of the saints I am sure you would find many, many more.
As to instances in scripture, well I can think of two very good ones off hand, firstly the case of the Samaritan woman:
'John 4:5-42
5So he came to a Samaritan city called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired out by his journey, was sitting by the well. It was about noon.
7 A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, ‘Give me a drink’. 8(His disciples had gone to the city to buy food.) 9The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?’ (Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans.)* 10Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, “Give me a drink”, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.’ 11The woman said to him, ‘Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? 12Are you greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us the well, and with his sons and his flocks drank from it?’ 13Jesus said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, 14but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.’ 15The woman said to him, ‘Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.’
16 Jesus said to her, ‘Go, call your husband, and come back.’ 17The woman answered him, ‘I have no husband.’ Jesus said to her, ‘You are right in saying, “I have no husband”; 18for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!’ 19The woman said to him, ‘Sir, I see that you are a prophet. 20Our ancestors worshipped on this mountain, but you* say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem.’ 21Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. 24God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.’ 25The woman said to him, ‘I know that Messiah is coming’ (who is called Christ). ‘When he comes, he will proclaim all things to us.’ 26Jesus said to her, ‘I am he,* the one who is speaking to you.’
27 Just then his disciples came. They were astonished that he was speaking with a woman, but no one said, ‘What do you want?’ or, ‘Why are you speaking with her?’ 28Then the woman left her water-jar and went back to the city. She said to the people, 29‘Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! He cannot be the Messiah,* can he?’ 30They left the city and were on their way to him.'
Also Saint Peter in Acts:
'Acts 5:1-11 (New International Version)
Acts 5
Ananias and Sapphira
1Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. 2With his wife's full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles' feet.
3Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? 4Didn't it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn't the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God."
5When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. 6Then the young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him.
7About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. 8Peter asked her, "Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?"
"Yes," she said, "that is the price."
9Peter said to her, "How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord? Look! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also."
10At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. 11Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.'
This is a gift of the Holy Spirit which is often referred to as the 'Word of Knowledge' and is mentioned in 1st Corinthians:
1 Corinthians 12:8-11 (New International Version)
8To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.
As to your wifes use of this gift , giving the young man the 'cold shoulder'. Well I am very open to the possibility she might have such a gift, though I would be somewhat concerned that it might offend charity. On the other hand I don't think Christ ever asked us not to call a spade a spade.....
If it were me I would bring this whole matter to the Lord and ask Him to either set yourself straight or your wife straight as necessary.
But, no Scott, there is every chance your wife may be quite right, both in the fact she has the Word Of Knowledge and in insight and actions, I would be open to this possibility, at least.
Hope this helps, I'll be praying for you both.
Thanks so much for such a very interesting question.
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QUESTION: Hi Padraig, thanks very much for an illuminating answer. I must say, I was not expecting that. I had been aware of various saints and Doctor's of the Church having such gifts. I can understand Jesus having that ability and St. Peter in your examples. I need to reach a place of understanding that it can be there for any of us. Wayne Teasdale helps with some insight to that end in A Monk In The World. I still have a ways to go, however, to get there with my dear wife. Thanks very much for your insight and opportunity for growth on my part.
Answer Well I agree Scott it is maybe a little unusual. But it is one of the nine gifts of the Holy Spirit so I suppose it could be said to be a natural inheritance of grace of us all, to one degree or other.
If your wife does have such a gift ..and I have no reason to suppose she doesn't I would suppose her to be a person of very deep faith and prayer, but you, of course, would know about this better than I .
