Expert: Tom Schott - 12/13/2009

Question
I am a catholic man age 41 with four kids married to a devout catholic women. Does the wife have a responsibility to the husband to have regularintercourse? My sex drive is more than once every7-10 days. I am really frustrated, not only with the amount but with the quality. It is mostly hurry up and get done. I would say once in every 5-8 times does she even want to work towards orgasm. I have read that the wife is suppose to be available. I know it is suppose to be a gift of self but what do you do when your partner doesn't want to give or receive said gift?

Answer
David,

Yes, the wife is supposed to be available, as are you if the shoe were on the other foot. But there is nothing that says she has to be excited about the idea. Maybe she's not wanting any such gifts from you. You have to ask why? You're not going to like what I am telling you, but sexual "problems" of this sort are often symptomatic of other dysfunctions in the marriage. Of course, this is normal even in the best of marriages. My wife of 42 years and I went to counselors often in years past. I would suggest you and your wife explore this possibility also. God bless.