Expert: Charlie B - 5/3/2009

Question
My problem is I was raised Catholic and my wife was raised Baptist/Non-Denominational and we dont agree on certain issues. They are the most common from baptism, why pray with/to priests instead of just praying directly to God, communion, and salvation. ANy help in finding common ground. We now have a 3year old daughter and we do not want to go to a different church every week. Neither is willing to bend to attend the others church however we have both attended each others before. I truly love the Catholic church as she does hers but these issues need to be dealt with. We have been married for 8 years and got married at her church (non-denomiantional). Any help in any of these issues would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Answer
George,
Thanks for your question.  I can identify with your situation given I was like your wife 20 years ago, a Methodist who didn't understand all the teachings, traditions and practices of the Roman Catholic Church.

You begin by saying you have a "problem" -- actually, it's a cleverly disguised opportunity for the two of you to come together in a common Faith and belief.  It's my own personal opinion that Baptists and Catholics hold 97% of the same doctrines to be true.... but the 3% is Golden (Sacraments, Magisterium, etc.) So, focus on the many similarities you hold in the same belief to begin, and throughout the discovery process on her part.

There are considerations and opportunities for your empathy and compassion about her struggle with Catholicism and her viewpoints:  
- if she converts, how does she deal with her family?
- if she converts, what will her friends say?
- conversion is a process and not an event, so your patient perserverance will be important.  

I once heard a statistic that over 50% of the conversions came about principally by someone reading a book or listening to a audio recording.  My own conversion from Protestant to Catholicism may help:  I listened to Dr. Scott Hahn's "Why a Protestant Minister Became Catholic" and read two books - "The Final Hour" by Michael Brown and "The Thunder of Justice" by Ted & Maureen Flynn.  Read together before retiring at night, & take turns reading aloud.

When you say, "why pray with/to priests..." I've never known any Catholic to pray TO a priest, but many daily pray with a Catholic Priest.  I do think Catholics value their Priests with more respect and appropriate reference that Baptists tend to honor and value their ministers.  Here's a book that I'm reading now:  "Nuts & Bolts" by Tim Staples that would well equip you.

I want to send you two audio CDs:  one by Tim Staples called "The Bible Made Me Do It" and another by Stephen Ray called, "Finding the Fullness of Truth."  Both are available for MP3 audio download at www.lighthousecatholicmedia.com, the Online Store.  Of course, Dr. Scott Hahn -- a former Protestant preacher -- is superb about his biblical references as to why he became Catholic.  During long drives, these CDs are ideal to listen, stop the audio and discuss during a car trip.  If you'll respond privately with your email address, I'll send them to you - free of charge.

Those are a few practical suggestions that I think you can employ WITH her (not 'on' her or 'to' her) as your wife comes to truly know the Catholic Faith that you and I and over one billion people love.  As I said earlier, conversion is a process and not an event, so your patient, kind and loving perserverance will be important.
God bless,
Charlie