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Expert: Charlie Breeding - 6/16/2009


Question
My girlfriend is catholic.I am not. We are talking of marriage but she says we may have some problems. I do not wish to convert to catholicism.I am christian.I wish to understand how this could prevent us from getting married.I am also concerned about our children. I do not want to force Catholicism or Christianity on our children.I must clarify.I want to teach our kids about God,the similarities of both,definatly the 10 commandments and the basics.Then when they become mature enough to tell the difference between the two,my wife would explain Catholicism, I would explain Christianity, and let them decide. would this work?

Answer
Miracle of the Spinning Sun at Fatima, Portugal
Miracle of the Spinnin
Larz,
You ask a superb question and I can understand your concern.  In some ways, you have no concerns at all -- God's Will is always the last determinant.

In some ways, you have very valid concerns and let me tell you why:  23 years ago, my wife and I married ... in the Catholic Church.  I was raised Protestant.  My early thinking was as long as our children went to church, and yes like you said, learned about "10 Commandments and the basics" that what was most important.  Hear my clearly:  your role in the home in the sacrament of marriage is to be the teacher, teach the faith, be the example and the 'pastor' of the house -- by your example, by your behavior.

My wife never "made me" join the Catholic Church, and your wife will not either, I suspect.  No, you don't want to force anything upon your kids, but you do want to always be their teacher, their disciplinarian and loving father.

My wife encouraged me to listen to audios of Dr. Scott Hahn (a former Presbyterian minister), Patrick Madrid, Tim Staples and others ... and they made me "intellectually disturbed" and curious to learn more.  

Then I read two books:  Thunder of Justice by Ted & Maureen Flynn and The Final Hour by Michael Brown.  Both books spoke about the factual evidence of the apparitions of Virgin Mary at Fatima (where over 10,000 people saw miracles performed in 1917 Portugal), Lourdes, France, and many other locations -- and both books took me to the same conclusion:  Catholicism had something for me, without feeling any loss whatsoever in what I had believed to that point in time as a Protestant.  What IF Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist, in Communion?!!?  Hummm....

What I came to find is that Catholicism and Protestants have FAR MORE IN COMMON than they have in differences.   However, I came to discover that the 2-3% "difference" (relatively speaking) that Catholics believe -- especially in the Sacraments of marriage, religious orders, confession/reconcilation, Eucharist, etc -- was GOLDEN, meaning that its value is unmeasureable in the grace, peace and joy that it will bring to you -- and your coming family.  Becoming Catholic some 13 years ago is the best decision that I have ever made as a man, as a father.

Do you have commute time, or time when you drive in an automobile? Or do you own an MP3 player or iPod?  Turn your drive-time into your university by listening to inspiring audios like those available at Lighthouse Catholic Media, a US-based Not-for-profit organization at http://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.com/store/refer/1528  Read the two books mentioned above, or go on Amazon.com and buy the book, Crossing the Tiber by Stephen Ray.  Mr. Ray, a former Protestant minister will tell you about the early Church Fathers, and more.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Your future wife is someone to sit down and speak with about her Faith, what it means to her, and ask her questions.  If she doesn't know the answer, you or her purchase a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Research the answers together (or Google them online), & discuss them.  This simple action will do more to bring you together, rather than allow this apparent, current division separate you both permanently.  The evil one would LOVE to see this common "difference" between you fail to yield the blessing of marriage:  a child (or 4-5-6 of them **).  :-)

If you love her and your God, you'll take the action (with patience with yourself) to learn more -- good luck on your journey, Larz!
God bless,
Charlie

PS ** if you want to see something scary, see this YouTube video on Muslim Demographics in Europe, the US, the world:  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3X5hIFXYU  

Charlie Breeding

Expertise

I can answer questions like, "Help me reconcile the Catholic Church to Protestant religions" or "Help me understand some of the staunch, unbendable rules that the Vatican asks Catholics to keep" or "How must the Church reconcile other religions or religious beliefs" and more...

Experience

Raised Protestant; converted to Catholicism in 1995 (one of the best things that I've ever done for myself)

Organizations
Board of Directors, North Carolina Right to Life

Education/Credentials
BS in Engineering from West Point
; Professional employed and self-employed; father of four children (b, 18; g, 16; b, 15, g,8) and married to the same woman for 23 years!

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