Expert: Charlie B - 7/31/2009

Question
why doesnt the church understand that it is so hard not to prac  tice birth control when you are unable to feed and cloth your children and end up depressed because your children suffer?

Answer
Verna,
Thanks for your question.  The Church does understand.  If you are clergy, you're celibate to the Lord because you're married to the Church.  If you not clergy, you're celibate to your spouse.  Either way, there's a sacrifice of some type to be made, yes?

Natural Family Planning (NFP) teaches that married couples must abstain from sex approx. 11-13 days a month.  My wife and I over the last 23 years have never used birth control.  Contraception is "lying" to your body, and to learn more about what I mean, listen to an audio by Fr. Loya called "The Gift of Sexuality" available at www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org for less than $3.

What is "so hard" about not using birth control?  Truly, I find it easy (to abstain for 1/3 of a month, no big deal) and my wife finds it even more easy than myself.  Actually, I'm relieved that I don't have to mess with a condom and my wife doesn't have to deal with pills, et al.  

The fact that you are unable to feed and cloth your children is a sad reality right now for a lot of people.  The current economic morass and financial fiasco has everyone challenged -- this I hear everyday.  That's why there's CSS or Catholic Social Services -- give your local CSS a call.  They'll help you.

Are you "depressed"?  Yes, not being able to provide for or care for your children can make one despondent.  Consider going back to school; getting some training; build your skills, read good books.  Rather than listen to the radio or watching TV, listen to inspiring Catholic audio CDs like those recommended above.

Do you attend Mass weekly?   Receive the gift of the Eucharist weekly (or more often) and with fervent prayer, your depression will lessen, I promise.  It's the critical first step to making your life less depressing, more fulfilled and receiving more abundance from God's world to provide for your children.  We all have to carry our crosses, and in some ways, "suffering" brings us closer to God and his Son.  It's redemptive in nature.  Feel free to respond back to the questions, and...
God bless you,
Charlie