Expert: Fr. Timothy Johnson - 8/21/2009

Question
My husband is a Catholic and I am Christian.  I classify myself as non-denominational Christian because I've been to several churches in my life of varying Christian religions (Wesleyan, Baptist, Pentecostal, etc.).

My husband and his father (especially) are trying to get me to convert to being Catholic.  I don't want to convert to being Catholic now, maybe down the road, but not now.  It is different from what I was taught growing up.  Also, because his father is pushing so hard for me to do it, makes me not want to do it even more.  I don't want to lie and say I want to convert because I know that I do not want to right now and I know God knows this also.  I will attend (Catholic) Church with my husband when we return to the States (we are currently in Iraq) and I think when I am more use to it I could theoretically convert.  I should convert because I want to, not because others want me to, correct?

Before when we had talked about it, they said that I could get married to him in a Catholic wedding, even though I am not Catholic; however, now his dad is telling him we can't get married in the Catholic church without me converting.  I don't believe this is true.

My question is if we can have a Catholic ceremony without me being Catholic and what this process entails.

My husband and I married this past April (on our leave from Iraq) at the county-city building.  We return from deployment in December and planned on having this ceremony in April on our anniversary; is that enough time to go through the process for the church to let us marry?

Also, I was baptized when I was 10 or 12.

Answer
Hi, Rebecca:
Thanks for the questions.
I will try to answer as concisely and simply as possible the several points you bring up in your questions to me...
You say that you were baptized at the age of 10 or 12 or so; and, unless there is some reason to believe that the Baptism was invalid, then you seem to be baptized.
This means that you are in a position to see about seeking a Sacramental Marriage in the eyes of the Church by going through the proper process and procedure for a lawful marriage by the Authority of the Catholic Church.
Your husband was bound by Church Law regulating marriage with you, and at the time you needed to go and seek out the Priest and get your Marriage Prep completed, and obtain your permission for mixed religion marriage (between baptized Catholic, and baptized non-Catholic); but since you did not do that, now you are seeking to "fix" or make the situation right with the Authority of the Catholic Church.
You are NOT required to become a Catholic just for the sake of a lawful and sacramental Marriage by the Authority of the Catholic Church; so, your Father in Law is wrong about that...
If through prayer and study you come to accept the Catholic Church as the TRUE Church established by Jesus Christ and endowed with the gifts, power, and authority of the Holy Spirit through the historic ministry of the Apostles and their successors down to our own times, then it ought to be for these reasons that you convert - that you would want to come into full communion with the Church Christ fashioned by the Holy Spirit of Truth He sent to remind and teach all of the things whatsoever Christ had taught and handed on by Sacred Tradition.
There are two ways of celebrating a Catholic Wedding:
1. A celebration of the Marriage vows within a Mass.
2. A celebration of the Marriage vows outside of Mass.
Unless lawfully dispensed, the reception of the vows must be presided over by a Priest or duly authorized Deacon.  Of course, in the case of a Deacon, he could only receieve the vows, as a Deacon does not have the charism or munera (power or authorization) to offer the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
Of the timing of things right now, I cannot say for certain.  At the practical level, what you both need to do is to approach a Catholic Priest in person, explain your situation, and see where to go from there... I wish you the very best!

Fr. Timothy Johnson