Expert: Tom Schott - 1/29/2010

Question
My husband and I have been trying to find a definite answer to this question for quite some time. It is hard to fully explain to a priest what we are confused about, and so hopefully this will help.

Because we practice NFP, I am fertile for a longer period of time than I am infertile.  We don't use contraceptives or perform "variations" of sex (eg oral) but during our innocent kissing and touching we get excited...if I knowingly "rub him the right way" and he ejaculates is that considered a mortal sin, or is it ok because we're married?

Answer
RT

I don't consider this a mortal sin, nor do I think God does. Listen, you are doing a hard thing by practicing NFP. Are you supposed to refrain from any affection with each other if intercourse is not possible? I don't think God expects that of you. What you describe is what I'd call "heavy petting," which within the context of marriage is certainly OK.