Expert: Fr. Timothy Johnson - 11/1/2010

Question
Dear Father,

The circumstance in question:

I have been troubled by something pertaining to my mom’s recent death.  She was sick for a couple of months, in her 90’s and mostly in circumstances where she had very limited conscious awareness.  We knew her death was approaching and we had her anointed by a priest (twice it turned out, once via our request and again as part of a routine visit by a priest at the hospital. She was not aware of either but I am certain she would have welcomed it).

At the time when my mom was near death in the hospice, she was not conscious.  I was alone with her and held her in my arms and prayed the rosary. At the same time, remembering the old promises of the church, I had placed on her chest a scapular and a Sacred Heart badge in the hope that this action would be an additional blessing on her before Our Lord when she would die.  When I finished the rosary, I cried out to God for His mercy on my mother’s soul and spoke the words that our Lord had cried out on His cross, that “it was finished”.  I then asked Our Lord to please take my mom’s soul to be with Him because the hour had come when her life was ending and that all was finished.  A moment later my mom died very peacefully in my arms.

My question is that since then I have been afraid because I don’t know if I acted properly at that moment in asking God to please take my mom and keep her safe.  I only wanted to do everything I possibly could to intercede for her before God.  (My mom was a good, loving mother and always went to church when she was well and prayed always and lovingly.)  I am afraid that by acting as I did, I got tangled into something sacred that I had no business getting in the middle of.  There was no anger attached to my plea, only the anguish of love for my mom at that sacred moment in her life and my desperate plea for a happy and merciful judgment on her soul.

Did I do wrong in how I reacted and spoke to God at that moment?  I meant well but have been afraid that I perhaps did not have the right to have spoken those words to Our Lord as I did.


Answer
Dear Ron:
Thanks for the question, and for sharing your story.
May your Mother rest in the Peace of Christ.  It certainly sounds to me like she had a very holy death, and how wonderful that you could be there with her at the last.  I am sorry for this loss; but the reality is that each and every one of us will die some day.
Everything you describe sounded perfectly appropriate to me.  You left the question of life and death in God's hands, and merely got yourself "tangled" in God's affairs the way we always do any time that we pray.  You made a plea, a request; it looks to me like you could see clearly that your Mom could not go on for ever in her final state, and you perceived that the end of her life in this world was at hand.  You made your request known to God, and as far as you describe, there was at least the implicit acknowledgement that God's Will be done: He could have answered the prayer "yes," "no," or "later," or "something else."  It looks to me like God in His Providence allowed you to see and know to the depths of your being that your Mom's time was at hand, and you were "ready" to let her go, and let God.
Stay strong in the Faith and Saving Power of Jesus Christ that some day you may also have a happy and provided death.  May God bless you!
Remember to pray for the Poor Souls during this month of November.

Fr. Timothy Johnson