Expert: Fr. Timothy Johnson - 12/17/2010

Question
Father,

I was hoping to ask you a few questions about my girlfriend's religious beliefs in relation to possible marriage to her.  I was born of Jewish parents and raised in a reformed temple. In my 20's I began a spiritual search for religious meaning and truth, and have studied and worked hard to find a religious home I am comfortable with. Thus, I have been regularly attending and have become a member of my local Unitarian church.  My belief in God is strong, and I am definitely guided by the moral and ethical teachings of Jesus, although I regard him as a teacher and not as divine. I respect all religious beliefs, including my Catholic girlfriend's trinitarian beliefs, and believe, in the end, that all religious people are praying to the same God through many different lenses (as she believes as well).  My question for you is this: are my girlfriend and I doomed in terms of having a future together? We are both good people and would raise wonderful children one day. We are deeply in love with each other. If I am not in favor of raising our children in the Christian tradition and she is, is there any way for us to work it out without one of us giving up a key principle in our lives? I understand that the Catholic Church has rules, and lots of them, but I am not really interested in an answer that relies on church law. We've already broken many rules. I was hoping for an answer that comes from your heart as a spiritual guide. Thanks in advance!

Answer
Hi, Steve:

I cannot advocate a system of "breaking rules," nor anything that lays claim to being "spiritual" from my heart alone without being also integrated into the truly religious.  Belief in God as Holy Trinity is not merely a "rule."  The Catholic Faith is a Religion of Divine Revelation: God has revealed Himself as Trinity.  If Jesus is not Divine and merely some sort of "teacher" then He must either be a crazed, deluded lunatic or a flat out liar.
I could not possibly answer in the particular whether you can or would have a good future together.  Polite and civil respect is always a good thing; and so if you wish to merely be civill together, then you ought to be able to be kind to one another regardless of individual beliefs and convictions.  However, on the issue of religious beliefs and practices, one or both of you would inevitably have to compromise.  I came to the Catholic Faith because of its claims to the Truth: not simply because of a subjective feeling of ease or comfort.
I am sure this is not of much help in the particular, but I cannot answer based upon suppositions and predictions of the future rooted in an analysis of subjective psycholgical condition of individuals.  I am grateful that you respect all beliefs, so I can rest assured that you are respecting my conclusions and input.  Thank you.

Fr. Timothy Johnson