Expert: Charlie B - 2/21/2010

Question
I keep hearing conflicting information and I need help.
I was married for 33 years. We were both non Catholics and were not married in a church. For the last 12 years of our marriage my ex wife slept in a separate room and we did not have sexual relations (Does inability or refusal to have sex count as a valid reason). Finally I had enough even though I did not believe in divorce and left her and got a divorce.

Since then I have met a Catholic woman who is a widow with a 5 and a 7 year child. We are going to be married, but my understanding is that we cannot be married in the Catholic church without me getting a annulment which I understand takes a long time. There is no way I could get witnesses to testify that my ex wife did not sleep in the same room as I do not want to involve my 15 year old son. What are my chances of getting an annulment?  If I could get a notarized statement from my ex wife attesting to this would it help?

We plan to get married at a JP and then later get married in the Catholic Church after an annulment if possible. I have been attending classes to become a Catholic. I should add that I am a lifelong Christian and the only time my ex wife went to Church is when I made her.

What advice can you give me?

Answer
Ricky,
Thanks for your question.  An annulment may not take as long as you expect.  

To your question, it's my understanding that an inability or refusal to have sexual relations does count as a valid reason.  I think your chances of getting an annulment are excellent.

My advice would be to seek out the local priest where you'd like to be married, schedule an appointment with him and go learn more.  

I congratulate you on taking RCIA classes to become Catholic.  As a convert myself, it's the best decision that I ever made!  
God bless,
Charlie

PS -- what's a "JP"?