Expert: Tom Schott - 4/1/2010

Question
Hello Tom,

I have been Catholic since I was 7 years old. When I was 19 years old, I stopped going to Church for various reasons (which I now regret). During that time, I met a man who is now my husband.

I am 26 years old now and have been married for almost 4 years. This is my only marriage. For the last two years, I have realized my error in leaving the Church and have been wanting to return and become a fully practicing Catholic again. The problem is, my marriage is not valid in the eyes of the Church (we did not have a proper Catholic ceremony). My husband is also not Catholic; he is unbaptized. However, he fully supports my decision to return to the Church and is more than willing to raise our future children Catholic. He is also not opposed to becoming Catholic in the future.

What can I do? How can I go about getting my marriage valid in the Church's eyes? Or is there no hope for me to become Catholic again and able to fully participate in Mass? I know I could ask someone at one of the nearby Churches, but I am afraid of being judged for leaving the Church in the first place.

I apologize if you've been asked this question before. I've been looking for several months, and no one seems to have been in my exact position.

Thank you very much,

Sarah

Answer
Sarah,

Thanks for writing. Let me put your mind completely at ease. The Church will gladly welcome you home again. And, although you may be concerned about it, do not worry. No one will judge you about leaving the Church. It is not at all uncommon. People come back all the time after being out for years.

The fact that you are married to a person who is not baptized makes your marriage a special case. A sacramental marriage can only be between two baptized persons. But I can assure you that your marriage is VALID in the eyes of the Church right now. You might want to ask your pastor or priest if there is any paperwork to fill out about this. But this is all it would amount to. The procedure is very easy.

I hope this has helped you. God bless you and your husband.