Expert: Fr. Timothy Johnson - 1/3/2011

Question
Hello Fr. Timothy,

I am a Byzantine Catholic and was married to whom I thought was to be my eternal partner. He was a non-practicing Baptist, from what he had shared was not baptized within his faith (questionable). I was non-practicing Catholic at the time, as well.

We were married by a non-denominational minister in tourist area.  After 9 years of marriage and three children within, I learned he was having an affair.  He soon left.  A year later we were divorced. After years of attempts of reconciliation, the cheating never ended.  God knows in my heart and soul, that I have forgiven this man many times and would continue, but the bottom line is he does not love, respect, want me or our family anymore He is not the man I knew for the duration of our marriage.  He is someone I do not know.

With that being said, I met with my priest to find out what steps need to be taken in order to be fully accepted back into my faith.  He stated confession was the only step necessary.  My marriage was not recognized in the beginning nor end, it was civil on both ends.

I was recently questioned by fellow Roman Catholic asking me why I  didn't go about the annulment process.  I didn't know of such thing and my priest never mentioned it to me when I asked about the steps.  

I do not want to question my priest, but this Catholic stated that I should look into this further and believes my priest is incorrect.

Please advise.

Answer
Hi, Marie:
Thanks for the question.
I am certainly sorry to hear of the great difficulties and trials you have gone through with an unfaithful husband.  I would recommend that you continue to pursue this matter with your Priest at the local level; but if you as a Catholic had been married to somebody by some sort of minister in a non-denominational ceremony without a Dispensation from Canonical Form your marriage was not recognized as sacramental by the Catholic Church.  If this is the case, then you would not need to go through a full Formal Case Anullment - you would need only go through a "Lack of Form" procedure, which is mostly a paperwork process to receive a formal declaration that your marrriage was invalid and non-sacramental because you did not observe Canonical Form in the past.  In case you were to wish to get married lawfully and sacramentally in the Catholic Church (i.e. by the Authority of the Catholic Church) in the future, this "Lack of Form" declaration would be necessary to demonstrante that you are "free to marry lawfully" as a Catholic.  In such a case, you would need to go through the regular marriage preparation with your Priest.  If you never planned to marry again, I suppose that you would not have to obtain the "Lack of Form Decree," and merely a good confession and return to the practice of your Catholic Faith is all that would be necessary.

Fr. Timothy Johnson