Expert: Father Dave Bechtel - 12/10/2011

Question
Dear Father. I am 42 years old married man with 1 child. I have always wanted to be a priest just was not sure whether it is me or "calling". For the past few years I feel that priesthood is the only thing I would like to do and sometime it is so strong that I "distance" myself from my family as the only thing I do is to read Holly Fathers, Bible and other theological material. Of course I try to follow steps of Christ and be good as much as I can, however, I am still a sinner and seek forgiveness. I realise that again it may be me who wants to be a priest and not "Him", although I still do not know but I have strong desire to become a priest. I know that according to Catholic tradition married man cannot be a priest and being 42 might be "too late" to go to seminary. I am really confused. Can you kindly give me your thoughts about it. I have not spoken to my parish priest, because to be honest, I do not have "guts" to talk about it to him as he knows that I have a son and I am married and fact that I confess my sins to him also somehow made me a bit uncomfortable about it, though I realise that it should not have been. Thank you very much in anticipation.

Answer
Let's reverse the question: "You know, I know I am a priest, but I really feel like God is calling me to marriage.  Thus I am starting to distance myself from the ministry and my parishioners. I am starting to go to singles bars just to get a feel for the life of trying to meet someone and see if maybe God is leading me down that road."

What would you say? Would you tell me to follow that call? Would you agree that such a call is coming from God?  If not, then why should we not apply the same logic to your situation?

By definition if you have chosen marriage as your vocation, you are not called to be a priest.  It is that simple.  You might "feel" like being a priest, but feelings are not relevant--you are married and that fact should serve to check your "feelings."  

You are right: you might desire to be a priest---and that desire is noble, however God has obviously called you to marriage and you must remain true to that commitment until death do you part.

It is noble to read the Holy Fathers, theology, and the Bible---CONTINUE DOING SO!  One need not be a priest to do those things---and just because one does those things does not entail one needs to be a priest!  

This does not reach the level of Sin, since it is not sinful to desire the priesthood anymore then it is sinful to desire marriage. However it be something you would want to take to prayer and spiritual direction with your parish priest and discuss where this desire is coming from.