Expert: Griff Ruby - 3/5/2011

Question
QUESTION: Here is my question: If we are immediately judged after death, and the dead can do nothing to alter their circumstances, why do the families of the deceased still pray to God to forgive the deceased their sins? Are we praying for nothing? If God has already judged a deceased person...why are we taught to pray for the deceased? Are my prayers to God all in vain? Or can we still pray for those we think might be in Purgatory? I ask this because my 19 yr old granddaughter was killed in a car accident. She had always been a wonderful and sweet girl and believe in God. But the last 2 years of her life were filled with addictions and mental illness.  I pray the rosary for her soul everyday and I offer up all of my masses for her soul. Are my prayers in vain?

ANSWER: Your prayers for the deceased are never in vain.  Imagine the scenario of someone who is sick and you pray for a speedy recovery.  If God responds to that prayer by speeding the recovery then the prayer has done the sick person good.  But even if no such prayer is done and the person still recovers, though not as speedy, the prayer was not absolutely "necessary" to their getting better, only to accelerating the process.
Prayers for a soul in Purgatory are like that.  The purgation process will complete in any case and the soul will ultimately enter Heaven, but the prayers do nevertheless assist the person and help their progress (and also help the progress in sanctity for the one making them).
It is true that if a soul happens to be either in Heaven or Hell, then such prayers will not help them since either they won't need it or cannot receive it.  Even in that case however, the value of the prayers is not wasted since the person making them is again blessed, and also the prayers will be for another soul of God's choosing.  So, going back to my illustration with the sick person, if the person being prayed for were either well or dead, then the prayer would be applied to some other sick person and is not wasted.
So, do please keep up the prayers for as long as you feel a need, for where such a need is "felt" (nudge of the Holy Ghost?) it is very likely needed and helpful.
My condolences for you tragic loss, hope this helps, God bless!


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for your response. I have a follow-up question and I probably should have asked it from the beginning, but have been afraid of the answer I might get. But here goes: If someone is 19 yrs old and dies and has sinned but is sick from addictions and mental illness, can they still go to hell? I can't imagine my granddaughter suffering anymore than she did here on Earth the last 2 years of her life. If God is merciful, and he is, I can't believe he would send someone so young, who had not even begun their life, to hell without full knowledge of what they were doing and what the consequences might be. This has been my biggest concern about her death. Everyone says "oh, she's in heaven...only the good die young" and so on but the Catholic Church and the Bible teaches us that if sinned we go to Purgatory or Hell. I'm confused.

ANSWER: Mental illness may well in all likelihood reduce or even in some cases eliminate a person's role in their objectively sinful behavior.  This does not mean that all such behaviors would be excused (unless the person should really be so utterly incapable of any human decision of their own that others would rightly assume power of attorney for the person), but it could often mean that sinful actions that ordinarily would be mortal might in their case be venial.  One really cannot second-guess the judgment of God, other than to provide warnings to persons who seem intent on sinning.  But once their life is over all that can remain (to change anything if possible) is prayer.  As I said before, a serious "having this person on your heart" as someone to pray for could be an indication that they may need your prayers and so would be in a position to benefit from them, but I don't know how "reliable" such a gauge might be.  In this life, short of some miraculous apparition, that is all we will ever have about any such question regarding any individual.
Youth or age really has nothing to do with it.  A person can easily have grave and damnable malice at 19 as at 49 or 69 or 99 as they could be in peace with God.  When we learn of what God's judgment actually is (at the end of time) we will also know exactly why and see the rightness of it, whatever it finally proves to be.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I knnow you can't tell me where my granddaughter is....I guess that's what I'm really looking for....someone to tell me she's ok. And I know that no one, not even the Pope, knows what happens to us after death. I never thought about death until she died and now it's consuming my life. I guess it's just part of the grieving process. I have also questioned my religion...not my faith...but my Catholic religion.  Hopefully this too shall pass and is part of the grieving process also. I can't understand why anyone would want to be part of a religion that tells you that you suffer on Earth and then when you die, you have to suffer some more in Purgatory before you reach Heaven.  I don't even see where Purgatory is mentioned in the Bible. Please don't take offense at my words....I'm just at the stage where I'm questioning everything, but I still pray the rosary every single day and I still talk to God every day and I light candles at Church for her and am having Easter Sunday Mass offered up for her.

Answer
Yes, having thoughts of death most certainly is a part of the grieving process, and also a good chance to review one's own life to see where one stands with God and to draw closer to Him in prayer.  And by prayer I mean not only the standard prayers, but also your own heartfelt prayers to the One in Whose hands lies your own destiny as well as that of your granddaughter, and all the many others who have loved you and been loved by you and are now among the "dearly departed."  This is a time to take the claims of religion seriously, to examine your Faith and the nature of your attachment to it.  Was it a habit, a custom, a source of making friends and meeting people and finding good things to do, or was it really a (or preferably "the") defining purpose of your existence?  It is a time to look at all the important things in your life and ask yourself, "Is this really more important than God is?"  How can anything of any real value whatsoever be more important that God is, for He is the source and Author of it all?  And now with all these issues having more real meaning to you than before, what better time to make a thorough examination of conscience?
As far as wanting to be a part of a religion that teaches about Purgatory, what benefit would it be to transfer to some other that teaches something else but is lying to you?  This (of all times) is not the time to abandon the Truth in favor of some fantasy.  True, the Bible scarcely hints at the doctrine of Purgatory, but by the same token it equally scarcely hints at the doctrine of the Holy Trinity.  The Bible is not a catechism that expounds doctrines, building up from the basics to all the necessary details, nor is it an encyclopedia with all topics neatly arranged alphabetically, nor it is a liturgy or a code of Canon Law.  It is a collection of various books written at various times with specific ends in view at the time of writing, which have collectively come to be a primary and immutable point of reference to Faith, though much else is also documented by God's holy Church in the Ancient Church Fathers, the declarations of the Councils, and the infallible teachings of the Popes.  If you really are starting to question the connection between the Christianity of the New Testament and the Catholic Church you grew up with in your own lifetime, I suggest you look into reading some translations of the early Church Fathers (Ignatius, Polycarp, Irenaeas, Justin Martyr...) and perhaps some early Church Doctors (Augustine, Jerome, Basil...) to see Christianity as known to the ancients.  In terms of Church history, these documents pick up exactly where the Bible left off and document much known to the Apostles but not mentioned (or only glancingly hinted at) in the Bible.
Another good thing to do when the reality of death confronts you is to learn of the lives of the saints.  So very little is known of Heaven, as to what it would actually be like.  In getting there we leave behind all earthly pleasures in exchange for new pleasures of which we know nothing today in this life.  But the one hard fact we do have about it is who will be there with God (and hopefully us), namely the saints.  So if we learn about their lives and who they are and what makes them tick (not only from stories of their lives but also their writings and sermons), we can gain a far better appreciation of Heaven and the one pleasure in this life which we can take with us, namely their company.
I know I'm loading you up with armloads of books here, but the more you know the better you will be able to understand and appreciate the nature of where your granddaughter is and where you and I and all of us must one day also go.
Do feel free to ask further questions about this or else as you move on through the grieving process.  Hope this helps, God bless!