Expert: Fr. Michael - 6/2/2011

Question
A lady friend that was raised catholic was married to a very abusive man verbally and physically and had abused his children. for most of there 28 year marriage. The church paid for her divorce. He had also committed adultery 5 times . they have been divorced for almost 6 years, and he has been with numerous women since, He does nothing to help with the children at still at  home.She clearly does not love him but loves another and yet her priest tell her she is still married to him in Gods eyes. This has put so much stress mentally on her she worries that if she marries the man who she feels his her soul mate sent to her by God Her ever lasting soul would be sent to Hell. I'm not a religious teacher nor a scholar I believe God wants her to be happy she is an earth bound angel in the way she treats others even when she is not treated so well by them.please if you could explain to me were I can help her to be happy . she doesn't love him and if she remarried him to me that worse than marrying the other man that loves her and would give his life for her, I have watched him pray to God for him to ease her hurt and if it meant God taking him for her to be happy he was ok with that.

Answer
Marriage is a contract between a man and a woman for life:  "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, until death do us part."  This woman stood up before God and witnesses and made this contract.  "Love," however that may be defined (and the new man could turn out just to be just as bad as the first one -- obviously this woman is not a great judge of character), is not a necessary component.  This is some western romaticized notion that has led to half of marriage ending in divorce, so it has a worse track-record than the contact idea!  If she or the children are being abused, she doesn't have to live with the man, but she is married to him until he dies.