Expert: Fr. Michael - 8/6/2011

Question
I am a Catholic however a failed one as I am divorced. I attend mass every week but do not receive holy communion due to my divorce and the fact that I am in a new relationship. I was married young and stayed married for 13 years (my wife was not Catholic). I have 3 children from this marriage who attend mass with me most weeks. My marriage broke down to faults from both parties however I have to take lion share of blame and this guilt I live with daily.

My life has moved on and so has my former wives and we are both happy and get on well and share custody of our children however I feel very guilty that I have lost something that is precious to me even though at the time I did not realise this is my catholic faith.

I wont look to try and annul the marriage as this would not be right as the break down was mainly due to my failings however not totally.

I have a new son with my current partner who I want to bring up a catholic and my new partner is keen for us to marry as am I but I no this will never be accepted by the church.

I just want some advice as to how I can live the rest of my life as the best type of catholic I can even though I understand I have seriously breached my faith and can never be a fully practicing catholic again. I ask forgiveness from God every day and every time I attend mass and I just want to try to be the best person, father and catholic I can be for the rest of my life.

Thank you

Answer
Some questions are of a highly personal or individual nature, on which you would most appropriately be given advice and counsel by your own traditional pastor or confessor.  If you do not have a regular traditional pastor or confessor, you should consult the Official Traditional Catholic Directory, available at www.traditio.com, to find one as conveniently local to you as is available, even if that might involve some travel on occasion.

Sometimes it may take some effort, but in that effort you will enhance the grace of Faith and will develop a relationship with a traditional confessor who can personally come to know your spiritual state and prudently guide you.  You should be sure that you actually attending a real (traditional) Catholic church with real (traditional) Catholic priests, not one associated with the New Order with New Order presbyters instead of priests.