Expert: Father Dave Bechtel - 1/12/2012

Question
Dear Father Dave Bechtel,

I have two step-daughters (ages 12 and 14) that stay with us throughout the week and in the weekend they go to their mom's who is a Seventh Day Adventist (SDA). I'm having a tuff time trying to teach or make them understand the teachings of the catholic faith especially since they attend SDA Church on Saturdays and stay with their mom until late sunday night. Could you suggest something for me to do? I do have a daughter of my own (who is 2 yrs old) and I'm raising her as a catholic. My husband (their father) is catholic as well. I'm open to any suggestions. Thank you for your time and God Bless!

Answer
I am not saying not to evangelize, and I commend your desire to share the Faith---but evangelization is a two way street.  In order to be evangelized a person must first be seeking something. Are your two step-daughters expressing interest in the Catholic Faith?  Are they asking questions about the Catholic Faith?  Do your step daughters really want to know about the Catholic Faith, or are you imposing it on them?  In short---if your step daughters are not seeking or asking questions about the Faith I would not be talking about it with them. If they are comfortable in the SDA and have no interest in the Catholic Faith---it is a waste of time to try to teach it to them. They are simply not interested. Thus, first we have to ascertain the interest level of your two step daughters and go from there.

The question you can ask yourself is this: "When I am talking to my step daughters about the Catholic Faith am I meeting my needs or the needs of my step daughters?" Evangelization is never about meeting our needs, but the needs of the people we evangelize.

You can certainly focus on your daughter and raise her in the Catholic Faith.  Your two step daughters however appear to have already been raised in the SDA.  Thus---unless they ask questions or express an interest in the Catholic Faith, I think it is best at this time to simply let them practice the SDA Faith with their mother. This is not to say I agree with the SDA Faith, or believe that it does not matter what you believe so long as you are sincere---it is more the recognition that your step daughters cannot be taught about Catholicism unless or until they are ready and want to be taught.