Expert: Griff Ruby - 2/10/2012

Question
QUESTION: I always try my best to be in state of grace, but it makes me feel down that if I sin...God is not with me anymore. I honestly feel he participates with me all the time, meaning that he is,there.

For instance, I gave my sister my money so she can buy herself something (i feel Jesus participates in that, then I cussed (right here I feel Jesus gets sad, but I still feel he is there), then I help this lady with her bags ( I feel Jesus participates in that). I feel Jesus participates with me in everything, however when I sin I feel I make Him sad so I apologize right away.

The thing I want to know is: What if the pattern goes up (good) and sin (bad). Does Jesus participates only on the good parts, even though the state of grace was broken? I feel he does,
even if it goes in a pattern.

When I do something good, I feel he gets happy (even if state of grace was broken)
When I sin, I just feel I hurt him and I feel he is sad.

ANSWER: Every step towards grace is pleasing to God, just as every step away from grace makes God very sad.  So often people think in terms of being "good enough" as if it were about passing some threshold, but really it has always been about which way one is facing.  Face God, going towards God, and even if you are far you are at least heading in the right direction and that is cause for joy.  The sinners easily turned away from their sins to look to Christ and for that reason were honored by Him.  But face away from God, going away, regardless of how close or not, and that is cause for sadness, or even wrath if it gets too pertinaceous.  The self-righteous pharisees were too busy looking down their noses at those less holy then themselves and thus looked away from God and were not found pleasing to Him.
Face God always, and proceed forward with all that you know that you should.  Continue to seek confession, and if not with one priest, then seek another.  Facing God and proceeding towards Him will not only please Him and edify yourself but also bring you through these important thresholds, but you became pleasing to Him upon your initial choice in the right direction, and continuing through such thresholds as the Sacraments are but further stepping stones in the right direction which one must take to continue in it.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Does God have a record/list of how many sins and good things we have in this life? I am striving to do good things as much as possible, even tho sometimes I fail. Does it make God happy that at least I am trying to do what I can?

Answer
God sees all that we do, and our whole life is played back to us in our own particular Judgment.  However, Scripture also speaks of a "sea of forgetfulness" into which all forgiven sins are cast, such that they need be remembered no more.  I am not sure how that would actually look, if we see all sins repeated before us in "playback" but without any feelings attached to them or have "gaps" in our lives with only the notation to the effect that "[missing period contains forgiven sin]" or what.
For the past all we can do is repent and do penance and receive the Sacrament of Penance.  For the future let us avoid sin.