Expert: Tom Schott - 7/3/2007

Question
I am 22 and soon to be engaged. I was baptized Catholic but never attended church because my mom raised us to believe that one does not need to go to church to have a relationship with God. Therefore, without much religious background (other than CCD classes in elementary school), I feel nothing for the Catholic religion and have even grown to dislike it greatly since I have become a young adult and have explored other avenues. I have decided I really like the Methodist church (but the reasons are an entirely other story). My fiance-to-be's parents (as well as my maternal grandfather) are adamant Catholics and pretty much refuse to recognize that any other religion exists. For this reason, we are being forced to marry Catholic. Because I am very uncomfortable with the Catholic religion, I do not want this. But if it has to be, than I at least would like to be married outside of the church building. So...my question for you is...if you have a Catholic wedding ceremony, is it mandatory for it to be inside a church? In addition, my fiance-to be belongs to a Catholic church near us but I think it is the most hideous thing I have ever seen. The inside is sooo plain and dull and I will die before I am forced to be married in that church. Some of my family members belong to a beautiful Catholic church in Ohio (and that is where my mom claimed to belong to too before she moved). If I have to get married in the church, I would like to be married there but the problem is that my fiance and I live in Indianapolis and I am wondering if we could be married at the Ohio church (with all the pre-Cana classes and stuff you have to do I was wondering if that would work or if it was allowed). I remember my mom telling me that you had to belong to a church to be married there/by their priest. Third (and last question), is that I volunteered at a Presbyterian church in college teaching Bible school. I became very close with the Pastor there and am wondering if there is anyway he could perform our marriage ceremony? Or have any other leadership position. I am sorry this is a lot but I am totally lost for answers. I look forward to hearing from you! And if you need clarification on my questions, please do not hesitate to ask!!

Sincerely,
Sarah

Answer
Sarah,

 Hi. I will answer your questions briefly. You could have details filled in for you at your finance's parish or at the diocese level.

1. Catholic marriages must be performed in a church.
2. It's not mandatory that you be married in your husband's parish church. Any Catholic church of your choosing would be fine. Just make sure you schedule it far enough in advance.
3. Your Presbyterian pastor could participate in the marriage liturgy, but the Catholic minister (priest or deacon) would have to perform the actual marriage ceremony.