Expert: Griff Ruby - 5/25/2007

Question
QUESTION: I read Griff's response on 5/12/07 to the Eastern Orthodox regarding divorce and re-marriage.

My situation is somewhat similar:

My wife and I married some 13 years ago in a Greek Orthodox Church.  We were both confirmed converts at that time.

I was raised protestant and had a previous marriage in a protestant church.  We had no children and subsequently divorced.  The primary cause for our marriage to fail was, I believe, that we did not have Christ in our life and very rarely attended church.

My current wife was raised a Lutheran.  She married a Catholic in a Catholic service, had a child and subsequently divorced.  From what I can gather from her their marriage failed for much the same reason mine did, lack of faith in their home.  Her former husband in not a practicing Catholic and as far as I can tell is not a believer.

We are contemplating a conversion to the Roman Catholic Church and would welcome your thoughts.

ANSWER: To convert to Catholicism is always a good thing, to be sure, but I guess you wonder what price you might have to pay in terms of your marriage.  From the small sketch I see here it does seem remotely possible for you to get a valid divorce from your former protestant spouse, IF the departure was over religious matters (i. e. your becoming Orthodox, and then Catholic and the protestant spouse becomes violent or leaves on account of that; merely "falling out of love" later on doesn't count), but for her the chances seem far murkier.  Given her former laxity I assume that her former marriage was actually Novus Ordo, which isn't really Catholic, but many people think it is.  However, there are no protocols in place for the conversion of a Novus Ordo to a Catholic (though in justice there should be), and again, her former spouse would have to have either become violent and dangerous, or else abandoned her specifically because of a conversion on her part to the authentic Catholic Faith.  As this obviously happened in her case while both of you were obviously immersed in East Orthodoxy, this clearly is not the case.  It would take a much greater expert than I to find any technicality which might free her to really marry you, if any exists at all.  (And though the Novus Ordo can come up with all sorts of such "technicalities," especially the "immaturity" one which they use almost all the time, and which has no real validity under any circumstances, I obviously cannot recommend such a source.  I would consult with an expert associated with the SSPX or the CMRI on a difficult technical question such as this.
Even if somehow these technicalities could apply (or when the former spouses have passed away), only then could you really marry, and you would still have to repeat the vows at least privately before a priest in order for it to take effect.  So in any case you are not married to each other at this point.
This is simply a fact, and it really has nothing to do with being a Catholic, or deciding to convert to being a Catholic.  Each of you stood before the altar of God (as each of you understood it at the time) and gave yourself to someone else without reservation, for all time, "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do you part."  How can that which is already given be given again?  It's like buying $20.00 worth of merchandise with $10.00 worth of cash; you spent it all on the first half of the purchases, so with what did you pay for the second?
Again, if there are children involved, and if you both are up to it, there might be something to be said for living together as brother and sister, in order that the children would have a home while they finish growing up, but obviously there are sacrifices involved.  Well, sacrifice is always key to being a Catholic, or for that matter simply being a good and honorable person, though different Catholics must make different sacrifices.  This would be yours.
Anyway, those are my thoughts; I hope they help, God bless!


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Griff, thanks for the answer.  In truth, I am still somewhat confused regarding our options to be married and members of the Roman Catholic Church.  Taking vows in front of God and a Priest would be no problem.

A little additional information regarding both our previous marriages:

(1)  Mine; we rarely went to church, I was deeply troubled by lack of faith in our marriage but could not get her involved.  She ultimately committed adultery and we divorced.

(2) Hers;  married a non-believer/non-practicing catholic in a catholic ceremony.  She was going through the process of converting but he didn't wish to remain a catholic anyway.  They had a child shortly after which he announced " I do not want to be your husband, I do not want to be a father, and I am in love with one of my 18 year old students (he is a college professor), and they divorced.

Thank you very much for the thought and consideration you have given this matter.  I hope this might make our situation a little more clear.

Answer
Mere lack of devoutness in the performance and practice of one's ostensible or nominal religion does not cut it.  The few actual divorces granted (Pauline privilege for situations where only one is baptized, and Petrine privilege for situations where both are baptized but one obstinately remains in the heretical sect) always involved those who are serious about their religion.
An example of the Pauline privilege would be two devout Buddhists marry by the Buddhists.  Then one converts to the Faith and is baptized.  The other member, out of a staunch Buddhism, refuses to get along with the Catholic and either wholly abandons the Catholic spouse (and children, if small) or else threatens or endangers the Catholics life specifically because the Catholic is no longer a Buddhist.  In that case the Catholic would be able to divorce the Buddhist.  For the Petrine, substitute Methodist for Buddhist, and remember again that the persecution or desertion must be as an expression of the non-Catholic's Buddhism or Methodism or whatever, as seen by the non-Catholic individual doing the persecution.
In the case of annulments, the only other thing to look into is who was baptised and when, what the sequence of events was there.  A baptized Catholic marrying by the justice of peace could get that marriage annuled quickly and easily and quite validly, but a couple married by the justice of peace who subsequently become Catholic cannot get an annulment based on that.  Again, the best thing I can recommend is that you two talk with a traditional priest about your options and what might be possible or not.