Expert: Tom Schott - 9/17/2007

Question
Hello, I am looking for some advice from someone who is a good Catholic and follows all the Church teachings.  My boyfriend and I met online 9 months ago, and have actually been living in the same city for about 4 months.  Before I moved to be closer to him, we spend two different weeks visiting each other.  We are both strong Catholics, attend daily Mass, and want a strong marriage with lots of kids.  I know this because before we were living near each other we talked online and on the phone and discussed all sorts of important issues.  Now it seems like we don't talk about this stuff as much.  I love him and want to marry him.  My question is, how long do you think a couple should date before they get engaged? I know there is no definite timeline, but an estimate would help.  I am struggling with how to bring up marriage, now that we are living near each other and it is more of a reality.  Is it something that should be talked about a lot before the proposal?  We both desire the same things, I just don't know when and what to say to discuss it.  Thanks for your help.  I appreciate it.

Answer
If you're seriously dating--exclusively to each other and frequently--you are correct, there is no definite timeline. If you're asking me for an estimate, I would say a year at the least. I would think marriage would be an occasional topic before the proposal, and almost the only topic after the proposal.