Expert: Rick Jackson - 6/27/2007

Question
QUESTION: My fiance is divorced.  I have never been married.  We are both Catholic.  Is there any way we could have a deacon come to our home to perform our marriage ceremony?  We realize that we will be unable to have the ceremony in a catholic church.

ANSWER: Hi Stacey.

I am sorry, but until the Church affirms that you were not validly married (annulment) neither a deacon nor a priest can marry you.  Please speak to your pastor about this.  The annulment process is not as painful (or costly) as many make it out to be.

Peace and blessings to you both,

Rick.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Rick.  Thanks for the prompt response.  I have never been married, but my fiance is divorced with a child.  He was originally married in a Catholic Church.  An annullment is out of the question as he does not want to disrespect his daughter.

Is there any type of Catholic ceremony available for us?  Or, do we have to go with a civil ceremony.

Answer
I do not know of other "ceremonies" available, but I should add and clarify:

An annulment does NOT state that a marriage did not occur civilly.  Rather, it is a determination that certain conditions were present at the time the marriage was entered that made it an invalid union according to Catholic Church teaching. The civil effects and recognition of that marriage remain intact and unchanged.

Moreover, an annulment is not a statement that the marriage was entered into in bad faith by either of the parties. It is not a statement of who caused the marriage to fail or who was most guilty for its failure.

Again, I strongly encourage you to speak to your priest.  And ask specifically about his daughter.  Annulment should not in any way disrespect his daughter.

Rick.