Expert: Fr. Michael - 12/31/2007

Question
My husband (who is a non-practicing quasi-Methodist and just tonight told me he considers himself a deist) and I (a practicing Catholic) were married in 2002 (Catholic wedding) and during the wedding we were asked, "Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" to which we both responded, "I will."  

What does it mean to "bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church"?  Is he bound by this promise to let me raise any children we might have as Catholic?  I don't have a problem with them attending Methodist services if he should ever want to take them, but I feel very strongly that they should be raised as Catholic, attending mass, receiving sacraments, showing their faith through their actions, etc.  

He is saying he has a problem with anything that binds a child to a religion without the child choosing, but I say that a child needs to have religion until they reach the age of 18, and when they are considered adults they can decide for themselves whether or not they want to continue in the faith (of course I would encourage them to continue).  Doesn't baptism (and for that matter Confession and Holy Communion) bind a child to the Church?

Answer
Your question points up the serious problems with mixed marriages.  Moreover, the presbyter (I am assuming that this was a New Order marriage, not a traditional Catholic marriage) seems to have done an abominable job of preparing you.  Surely, this question should not be arising at the ceremony and afterwards.  This subject should have been discussed THOROUGHLY before the marriage was even entered into.  Perhaps it should not have been entered into at all.

Traditionally, a Catholic cannot receive a dispensation (if warranted) to marry a non-Catholic without the non-Catholic having promised (in writing) to allow the Catholic spouse the practice of her religion and to raise the children entirely in the Catholic Faith.

Perhaps the best you can do at this point is stick to your guns and insist that the public promise that he made at your marriage be carried through.  After all, even a deist must recognize the morality of a promise!

And be sure that when you raised your children Catholic, you raise them true Catholics, not in the New Order Religion that passes for Catholic.  Find a traditional site in your area and make your connection there.  If you don't know a location, consult the Official Traditional Catholic Directory at www.traditio.com/nat.htm.