Expert: Padraig Caughey - 7/24/2007

Question
QUESTION: Dear Padraig -

I was baptized Catholic as a child, and 40 year later, I just finished my Sacraments.  It was my desire to give my children a christian foundation that drew me back to church.  

Soon after we started going to church on a regular basis, I was blessed with the most wonderful spirtual experience (described below) which I still do not completely understand. My questions are if others in the Church have had similiar experiences, why they happen and what do they mean.

One Sunday, I went to church with my children, who spent the entire time fighting with each other in Church.  I was fuming angry, and was even more upset that I felt this way in church, especially when I was looking for closeness to God.  I also remembered looking at the sheet my daughter received from Sunday School- it was on the one Beatitude - blessed are the peacemakers, and how children should be peacemakers in their day to day life.

Anyways, here is the vision I had. On Sunday night when everyone was asleep, my daughter came into my room because she could not sleep and woke me up to climb in bed with me.  When I work-up, I saw within me (not my physical eyers) a ball of divine fire.  I could see flames and gold and white licking out of the ball - it was pulsating, and it kept telling me this is pure of heart, this is pure of heart.  I remember feeling so loved, so protected, like nothing could hurt me (not physically), but spirtual, emotionally.  That something horrible could happen to my family and I would still be safe. And then the ball began to shrink and fade away.  I remember longing for it to come back to me and then it was gone, and I layed down with my daughter, I could hear in the faint distinst singing.

At the time, my understanding of scripture and the CAtholic faith, very limited to what my Grandmother taught me as a young child and I really did not understand the phrase pure heart, of really understand the Holy Spirit.  This expereince launched me into years of surfing the net, reading the Bible and any other book I could get my hands on to help me understand.  At first, I thought it was Jesus, and then the Holy Spirit, and then Jesus speaking through the Holy spirit.  As per the experience, the closest expereince I have found is St. Symeon who had many experiences with seeing Divine Light.

I feel truly blessed with this experience and know that it is probably a once in a lifetime.  I have shared this information with a select few people (most people including my husband would think I was bonkers) I would appreciate any insight you could provide regarding what, why etc.

Thank-you for making yourself available to help and may God Bless You!

In Christ,
JM



ANSWER: Hi JM,

In our modern scientific rush, rush, rush scientific world we are not at all at home with the mystical with things like visions and dream and so are very reluctant, as you yourself have been to discuss them with others because as you say we are afraid that others will ridicule us and think us nuts. But in actual fact such spiritual experiences are much more common than we think. Many other people like yourself are afraid to talk about it and so we, as a society tend to brush things under the carpet.

Jesus told us I stand at the door knocking. He does indeed and He can come through the door of our hearts in a number of different days. Recall, we set limits on God but God sets no limits on Himself. We have only to go to Scripture and the lives of the saints to see this happening {dreams and visions} again and again and again. In fact the prophet Joel gives us a direct promise from God in this regard.

Joel 2:28 "It will come about after this That I will pour my Spirit out on all mankind; and your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams and your young men will see visions'.

This is a general promise and not simply aimed at great saints. I think one think that makes us uncomfortable in this is that people will think we are claiming we are saints or super holy when we talk about such things. Not so; as I say these things are much , much, much more common than most of us suspect.

Now coming back to the actual vision itself. I believe it to me a true vision form God. Why " Well one of the things Saint Teresa  of Avila tells us is that one of the signs of a true grace is that we remember it and you certainly have in great detail. Also it just seems so Spirit filled. Lie Mary you have, "Stored these things in you heart' producing fruits of wisdom and please, God holiness and insight.

This vision is God talking to you personally and so the interpretation of this is yours too. I can give my own insights but they are only mine, the true interpretation will come form you alone.

However I will since you ask give my own opinion. But it is only my opinion in discerning whether or not what I say is true, if what I say is true you will feel bells and lights ringing and going off in your own heart. So take what I say here with discernment I do not claim infallibility.

God was talking here to you in two levels. On the particular experiences you had in the Church with the troublesome children and the particular reading from the Word of God, 'Blessed are the peace makers'.

But on a deeper level God was specking of the general circumstances in your life. Your vocation as a parent and your relationship with your children. The Lord was specking as to the role of the Holy Spirit in your life as the source and cause of all peace. The ball represented as it always classically does the coming of the Holy Spirit {as at Pentecost}. The Lord was reminding you that He is the source of all peace in your life , in your family and in particular in your relationship with your children. The door to this peace is trust and prayer.

This was what I would call a great vocational dream which you see for instance the saints getting and refers to your particular role as a parent in life. Just as the Spirit will and should function as source of great peace in you own heart so you are and will source as a children's of peace in your family, especially for your children.

There is I fell a strong prophetic component in this, referring to a time in the future for your children's spiritual welfare you should be a great source of peace, perhaps on occasions when this peace may really be threatened. Perhaps at a time or contention and trouble

Oh well hopes this helps.

God Bless you JM, never loose sight of this vision its important for you and your family,

God Bless

Padraig

PS Here's a forum were you can read up on these things a little:

http://padraigcaughey.forumup.co.uk/viewtopic.php?p=1383&mforum=padraigcaughey#1

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear Padraig -

Thank-you so very much for your reply!  There were a couple of things that you said that hit home with me that were part of my discernment of the experience.  My initial reaction to the experience was Why Me? I am unworthy and do not deserve this.  I am far from Holy, and there are so many people that are much more deserving then me.  

The second reaction was that something terrible was going to happen to my family, and God was preparing me to face this.  During the vision I remember thinking my whole family could be killed, but it could not penetrate the protection, the peace and love I felt with the Spirit in me. I could not think of a worse thing in the world that could happen.  

What made this experience so real was that it was not a dream.  My daughter woke me up and I saw the Spirit in my heart and sat there with Him for several minutes feeling his warmth, love and peace pulsating in my heart.

I do feel that God wants me to share this this with SOME people, as this too is a gift for others. With the few people I have shared this with, it seems it is a sign of hope for them.  

Through reading the scripture, I also have wondered if this was a second baptism for me, to be baptized by Holy Spirit.  I have read that the Spirit baptizes a person into doing service for the Church.

The one thing God did through this experience is make me thirst for Him.  Once you get a taste of His presence, His peace and His love, you long for it. When I feel closest to Jesus, I can feel that same burning in my heart, even though I cannot see the flames.

Thanks Again for your reply.  Your insights confirm that I have been on the right path in which I continue to discern this experience.  After all, our relationship with God is a journey, not a destination.

JM

Answer
Hi JM,

Mystical experiences are by no mean uncommon. For instance in surveys a very high proportion of people say they have had some experience of the recently departed, especially when they are close relatives. We are all special to God, His love reaches out to all of us. Its simply in our Western Societies we are often uncomfortable sharing or talking about the mystical.

Its natural since its outside the everyday for you to feel some sense of threat or concern and perhaps to jump to dire conclusions. But these things come from a God who loves us so much He sent His Son to die for us.

This was a message of the purest love and peace from the very Spirit of Peace.

It was God giving you a big hug. Except it with the gentle acceptance and thanksgiving. The very last thing the Lord would want would be in talking to you of peace to disturb your peace.
A hug from God and a gentle message of love.

God Bless.

Padraig