Expert: Tom Schott - 3/18/2007

Question
Hi, my husband and I are both catholic and used to attend mass regularly. After we had our children we started to go less often because of the disturbance they cause during mass, they are 3 and 1. We were recently informed that we are no longer considered members of our parish because we don't attend enough. I am due with another baby in May and want to have my baby baptized at this church. My husband and I know if we don't start attending mass on a regular basis again they will not baptize our new child. We have been going every Sunday for the past month and every week we get dirty looks from other parishoners. We feel unwanted and upset that they won't baptize our child just because they haven't been receiving our weekly contribution. My husband and I both intend on teaching our catholic faith to all of our children but now is not the time because of their ages. Would we be better off if we just took turns going alone on Sunday to fulfill our obligation so we can baptise our new baby or should we continue to go to mass with our disruptive children?

Answer
Hi Lynne,

  I assume your parish does not have babysitting, no? When I read things like this, it makes me mad. There is no reason your parish could not accommodate you and your husband and kids. Surely there could be some creative solution worked out. I have two suggestions. Switch parishes and go somewhere that's more understanding of young families. I would not be able to stand going to a church where I felt "unwanted." Is there anyone at the parish you can talk to? Deacon? Priest? You need to let somebody know how you feel. This is not right.

My second suggestion is to continue going to church with your children. You could take turns being with them outside if that is necessary. But I would not go alone, nor would I suggest that you do that.

Please let me know what happens, dear. This can be worked out with a little imagination and the will to do it.

Deacon Tom