Expert: Tom Schott - 3/25/2007

Question
I am a catholic who has been divorced since 1999 my husband left me and my children  then,for another women.I was never married in a church my husband refused it.I am very happy now co habitting with my partner  for 8years now but Iam not allowed to receive communion and this makes me feel very sad every time I go to church.I feel rejected and do not know what I have done wrong can you help me to understand?as I do not see the point in going to mass and not receveing the eucharist.IT HURTS ME TOO MUCH.
GOD BLESS YOU.

Answer
Regine,

Let's assume that you were divorced not living with someone. In that case, not only would you be allowed to receive communion, but the matter of your divorce in 1999 would be relatively easy to "fix" . . . as a Catholic who married outside of the church, you did not follow the proper procedure to be allowed to marry in this way. Fixing this situation requires a simple form.

The main reason you cannot receive communion is not that you are divorced, but rather that you are living with a man whom you are not married to. In the eyes of the Church, this is seriously sinful, and for that reason, you cannot receive the Eucharist without benefit of confession and absolution. I understand your pain at not being able to receive communion for such a long time, but it is not the Church who is rejecting you, dear. It is really a matter of your own choice. I hope this has helped you understand.

Deacon Tom