Expert: Charlie B - 12/8/2007

Question
Cardinal Newman states in a prayer: Penetrate my being and take such hold of me that my life becomes a radiation of Your own life; in regards to Jesus's life.  What's the use of even living our own lives if we have to live Jesus's life? I'd rather spend my life making my own choices than making myself an automaton of God.  If you can influence me in another direction, go ahead.  I've had it.

Answer
James,
You ask one of the most important questions that I've been asking myself in the past year.  Let me first thank you for asking it, and encourage you to stop being too hard on yourself.  Stress and pressure are self-imposed, mostly.

St. Augustine, one of the early Church fathers (Protestants love to look at the early Church fathers when intellectually curious) said it best:  Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you."   Humm....

You seem to be indicating that it must be one (you), or the other (God) but not both simultaneously, is that right?

How can one know if, during your battles and sufferings, if this is pre-destined or is of my complete own making?  Yes, a bit of both...

You can't live Jesus life; luckily, He did that for you 2008 years ago.  And, would you take a iron stake, 1/4 inch thick, 8 inch spike through your hands?   What's the use? Wow....and he did that for you, James.

Look at nature to see evidence of how suffering actually raises you to where you want and need to go:  grain of sand in an oyster becomes a pearl; if a butterfly is not allowed to struggle out of the cocoon, it's wings never dry fully to fly; and many more.  Hey,it's part of the path before you pass on from this unimportant, measly body that we have now.

James, do the following and let's see if you don't have the turmoil indicated in your question:
1. Go to Confession, and do it once a month whether you "need" it or not.  Get over it, and go my man!
2. Go to Mass every day that you can, Sunday for sure.  Be silent, and let Him speak with and to you.  You ask the questions, he listen and will respond....but must be patient for the answer.  Find quiet time in your personal life...silence is the key.
3.  Give service to others.  Hey, it's Advent which means new beginning.  Give to others.  Get outside of yourself and see how you begin to feel.  Volunteer.  You have so many gifts, blessings and fortunate aspects to your life that you may be blind to seeing for yourself.
4.  Get rid of your addictions, your demons.  Forgive yourself and others.
5.  Read, "How to Stop Worrying & Start Living" by Dale Carnegie -- it's a book that I think you'd enjoy and benefit from reading, James.

You make your own choices, then our choices make us.  I'm no "automaton", because it's not about control, hoss -- it's about grace.  You have free will, so steer it and guide it wisely.
God bless,
Charlie
www.thepepcoach.com or www.breedingsuccess.com