Expert: Tom Schott - 3/4/2004

Question
Would the gentleman I wish to remarry have to get an annulment as well if he has already been divorced?  He is also Episcopalen and said that he would also go through RCIA for me and us.  What is the difference bewteen his fath and Catholicism?

Suggestions on the above proceedings?


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Followup To
Question -
But if he does not want to do an annulment - where does that leave me?

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Followup To
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I am currently going through counseling with my husband and trying my best.  

However, if this should not work, what are the actual steps, in brief, regarding an annulment?  Also, can one contest an annulment?  I could not find this answer anywhere.  

Also, is a divorce looked at by God as a real sin or not? I hope not?!

Please advise.  

Thanks.
Answer -
Pat,

  You will have to fill out some paperwork and others, including your husband will be asked to also. Your husband and others may choose not to do this or cooperate with the Church proceeding, but once the Church grants an annulment, it cannot be "contested." I do not profess to know the mind of God as to whether he considers divorce a sin. Many civil divorces are granted to people who are not Catholic. I would hardly think God considers each and every one of these sinful.

Deacon Tom
Answer -
Pat,

 An annulment is only a consideration after a civil divorce has been granted. So your marriage will have ended in divorce before you even consider doing an annulment in the Church. The greatest good, of course, is that counseling for you and him works, and you will continue to live together as husband and wife. But, assuming the worst, that you cannot resolve your problems and must get a divorce, it makes no difference whether your ex-husband wants to do an annulment. Both of you do not have to agree to it. All that is necessary is that one of you--in this case, you--request that the church annul the previous marriage. If he chooses not to provide testimony in the annulment, that is his prerogative, but his testimony is not a requirement for the annulment to be granted. Hope this answers your question.

Deacon Tom

Answer
It does not sound like to me you have any intention of making your current marriage work. You want to marry someone else, is that not right?

The short answer to your questions: yes, he will have to have his first marriage annuled. Theologically, there is not much difference at all between Episcopalian and Catholic; the main difference is over the authority question. For advice on annulment proceedings, consult the pastor of your parish or any priest or deacon there.

Deacon Tom