Expert: Marco - 7/4/2006

Question
The pat, uninformed comments -- "it was within the power of a four year old to do something."  Of course you are saying it was my fault!!  If you're going to answer questions from people like me (an incest survivor) it might be wise to read up on incest victims. There's no suggestion of HOW I might pray, just a bunch of trite Catholic cliches. This is why I don't step foot inside a church, like most other Catholics.

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Followup To

Question -
Marco......thank you for your reply. "God knows what's best?"  I'll be sure to pray to a being who think's it's best that a little girl is mollested! BTW, it's a universal that a three or four year old child who is sexually mollested thinks it's her/his fault. That's why I didn't tell anyone, also normal.



Answer -
Dear Anne,

I never meant that it was your fault.
Anyway, let me say that a friend of mine was molested at the age of six by an uncle of his. He told it to his mother, and she forbade that uncle to see her son; everything stopped without any other consequences.
You must understand that it was in your power to stop everything; so you cannot blame God for not having forbid your uncle to molest you. God has given us a free will.
We must use our free will and make our choices.
Certainly the acts committed by your uncle are horrible, and it was not your fault, but his fault and only his fault.
Anyway, you made a great mistake, because if you had told  your parents, everything would have stopped.
God does not think that it is best that a little girl is molested, but He thinks that it's best to give us a free will, and He respects our free will.
Don't be angry  with God! God loves you infinitely and He knows the horrible sins committed against you.
Abandon yourself to God's love; He can heal all of your wounds!

Your brother in Christ,

Marco


Answer
Dear Anne,

certainly I am not an expert in incest victims.
My only knowledge about this subject derives from a friend of mine who was molested at the age of six.
Anyway it seems to me (but I may have misunderstood) that you said that you were molested during all your childwood, up to the age of 12. This is the reason why I thought that you could have told your parents.
I can only say that I feel the Presence of God near to me, I feel His love and I know He loves you as well and He knows what horrible sins have been committed against you.
 
Your brother in Christ,

Marco