Expert: Griff Ruby - 9/3/2006

Question
Hi there,

According to your knowledge and beliefs what is your stance about fornication today? Do you still consider it a horrible sin or is it not an issue anymore since today we have better use of contraceptives, and we have genetic tests to prove whose kid is whos etc....
i can understand its problem in the older days, but not today. I think times have changed too greatly so it is surprising that most followers of the world's religions whether jewish, chrisian, muslim, hindu,etc..insist on how sinful it is (whether they do it or not) and do not really question whether such a rule still applies today or not (which may be called blind faith if one doesnt question)...i would like to know your views and beliefs and perhaps learn something from you

ps: if u have something to say about homosexuality id love to hear about it too...i know homosexuals and that its for a fact that it isnt in their hands who they are attracted to..so it just doesnt feel right when religious ppl say they are damned to hell for following their heart.."

Answer
The reasons against fornication extend way beyond the mere practical consequences of unwanted pregnancies, spread of disease, and so forth.
Other far less obvious but no less nefarious things also follow from any misuse (abuse, actually) of human sexuality.  In particular, the lack of self-discipline evidenced in those who give in to whatever desire they may have opens the door for every other selfish act.  If you can take a girl that doesn't belong to you, then why not also take a car that doesn't belong to you?  Why not take a life that doesn't belong to you, especially if the person becomes in some way inconvenient for you?
All of these things come down to putting God first in our lives, and doing that is what makes us civilized members of a society instead of human "cancer cells" destroying the very society that sustains us.  All of us instinctively know that fornication is wrong, even as we know that murder is wrong, but many find ways to rationalize to themselves that it's not "really wrong."  But no matter how much they rationalize, deep down they still know it is wrong.  You don't need some Gospel preacher to tell it to you.  That's why this instinctive understanding we have is called "Natural Law."  Nature itself tells us that we have injured ourselves (and whatever partners we did it with) by sinning any sin against chastity.
You may tell yourself that it's just a matter of being free to do something you like to do, like being free to go surfing or sailing or skiing or whatever, whenever you like.  But that's a self-lie.  If it really meant that little, why not go six months without any unchastity of any kind (no fornication, no other partners, no perversion, no jacking, in short, no getting your rocks off in any way shape or form) and see if you can actually do it.  After all even many professional skiers only ski in the winter.
In finding that you can't (long before that six months is up, I expect), don't buy into that next self-lie that "Oh, it's impossible!"  No it's not!  There are many with just as much hormones as you who nevertheless maintain perfect untouched chastity, clear from birth until their marriage, or even clear to their death if they do not marry.  Can they do something that you can't?  What that finding really means is this:  You can own your skis and your sailboat, but unchastity owns you.  It is your master; it tells you what to do, not the other way around.  If God is not first in your life, then something else will be, and for many lust is it.  Those in its clutches will do many stupid and foolish things they otherwise would have never even considered doing, for lust is a harsh and demanding master.
I do also have things to say about homosexuality (though all the above applies eqaully to that as well), but that can wait for some followup.