Expert: Charlie B - 12/8/2007

Question
Mother Theresa says that humility is important because it allows us not to change with praise.  Why is this important?  I'm unhappy as it is and praise lifts me up.  If I'm not supposed to be changed by praise than how can I be happy?

Answer
James,
I'm impressed by your question, so allow me to heap a little praise on you.
One must always understand the context when reading a quote like this as to not take it too literally.  While I don't know the exact context, let us assume for a moment that she was talking about political leaders, or even someone famous from Hollywood.  In both instances, those the rise to great heights {..and don't fall}, those people seem to remain humble in light of great public praise.

Take the #2 non-fiction best-seller of all times, written in 1936 by Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends & Influence People -- 30 principles of which Carnegie reports, "are biblically based."  
Two come to mind:  "Don't criticize, condemn or complain."  By such, we DE-PRECIATE, not appreciate.  It's principle#1. So is praise mentioned again?
On down the list, "Praise each and every improvement; be lavish in your approbation {or praise}."  You raise other people with your authentic, genuine or unflattering intent to point out a strength, quality or attribute sincerely --- and most people are not very good at it, given my 25 years of training and developing people.
 
Those who are very good at sincere praise are very genuine, and speaking encouragement that is authentic make for the best coaches, teachers, parents and leaders of the world, academia and business. {praise, the outward expression of noticing something outside of yourself, is important because the recipient doesn't see his/her own grace}.  You might also look at Human Vitae and Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II (google it, or see links here: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/encyclicals/documents/hf_jp-ii_en...

The business literature is full of this critical and important skill of leadership, like The One-Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard.
So, Mother Teresa's context, I'll bet was that she was being lavished praise about her really miracle achievements, not only in helping millions of the poor, but her extraordinary financial windfall that came to her Order of nuns.  To manage great gifts, yes humility will always keep the ego and selfish pride in check.

I'm a graduate of West Point, the US Military Academy and think of it this way:  employment (along with marriage, in a way) is a behaviorial rental agreement, so reinforce the behavior for which you are willing to pay the rent.  Simple.
Cheers,
Charlie
www.thepepcoach.com or www.breedingtrust.com

PS- tell me more about why you say you are unhappy.  That's the crux of the issue, James. Do it here, or email info@breedingtrust.com