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Catholics/I'm Catholic - Boyfriend is Pentecostal, can we get married?

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Expert: Fr. Timothy Johnson - 9/20/2007


Question
I am a Roman Catholic and have grown up going to Catholic school my whole life, I am comfortable with my knowledge in my faith but this is a topic that I am not sure about. My boyfriend is Pentecostal, which I believe is part of the Protestant faith. We are both technically Christian I assume, therefore my question is this: How could we go about getting married? I have always dreamed of getting married in my Catholic church considering everyone in my entire family have been married there and would love to also be married in my church. But I am unsure if it can happen because of him being pentecostal. His mother is very active in their pentecostal church and told me that their church would marry us if mine didn't, but my boyfriend is not really a practicing pentecostal but we aren't going to force either of us to convert religions, we are both very accepting that we have different believes. Our love is more important and we respect eachothers differences but I am very confused, Please help me understand how we would have to get married.
Thanks,
Alyssa.

Answer
Hi, Alyssa:
Thanks for your question.
As I tell all of my Catechism students: "If you believe that you have the vocation to get married, the first thing that you as a practicing Catholic would do is TO GO AND SEE, AND TALK TO YOUR PARISH PRIEST.  He should be able to guide you through the process."
There are provisions in Church Law for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic.  The case you describe is the "Permission for mixed religion."
Maybe your priorities right now, instead of a single-minded focus of "getting married no matter what" might be to reflect more deeply on where each of you are as regards you religious beliefs and practices.  The important thing for you before all else is to be a true believing and practicing Catholic.
Differences in religion will always be a sore spot in the relationship of marriage, and will pose difficulties and hurdles, no matter how much you think you love one another.
Protestants, such as your fiancee's mother totally disregard the authority of the Catholic Church in such matters - this is why she is a Protestant.
Catholics are bound by "Canonical Form" as Catholics, which means to get married in a Catholic Church building, according to a Catholic liturgical Rite, in the Presence of an authorized Priest or Deacon, in the presence of two witnesses.  For any other arrangement, you need special permissions or dispensations.  You need to discuss this matter with a Priest in person.

Fr. Timothy Johnson

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Fr. Timothy Johnson

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A Traditional Catholic Priest, validly and licitly ordained, incardinated legally and canonically in the Diocese of Fargo, and in good-standing with my Local Ordinary (Bishop) on active assignment at a rural Tri-Parish. I can provide honest and balanced answers to questions on topics pertaining to Traditional Roman Catholicism of the Latin Church (Councils of Trent and Vatican II)and a lot about the Eastern Catholic Churches, including the Sacred Liturgy, Sacred Scripture, Church History, the use of the Latin language, the tradition of Sacred Music, and current events in the Catholic Church from a traditional, historical and balanced perspective.

Experience

I have been ordained a Roman Catholic Priest since June 2001.

Organizations
Knights of Columbus; Church Music Association of America (CMAA)

Education/Credentials
Ordained Priest, 02 JUN 2001; Ordained Deacon, 27 JAN 2001; MA - Dogmatic/Systematic Theology; MDiv - Professional Degree from Seminary; 2-Years formation with Canons Regular of Premontre including studies and experience in Sacred Liturgy, Chant, Latin, Sacraments, Spirituality. BA - Scholastic/Thomistic Philosophy; BA - Liberal Arts; AA - General Studies.

Past/Present Clients
I serve 3-small, rural Parish Communities in Easter North Dakota
I converted to the Roman Catholic Church in 1981, at the age of 15. Over the years I have done work as an organist, cantor, and choir director for the Latin Rite (English & Latin) Mass (Liturgy of the Eucharist), and even for the Hours of the Divine Office. I have worked as a cantor for a Melkite Byzantine Catholic Church. Presently my pastoral and administrative duties as a Catholic Priest do not allow me as much time as I used to have to devote to Sacred Music; but for my weekend Masses and Solemnities within my Tri-Parish, I offer High Sung Mass in English. Weekday Mass is typically Low Mass (recited Mass) in English, though on occasion I will offer the "Tridentine Mass" in Latin, which I usually offer on my "Day Off", as well. And now, in light of the "Motu Proprio" by his Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI placing the extraordinary usage of the Roman Rite back into the mainstream of the Catholic Church, I have been offering a regularly scheduled SUN, 2:00 PM Tridentine Latin Mass with a community of the faithful that has a stable existence.

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