Expert: Sal - 11/25/2004

Question
Hi. I plan on marrying someone who is Catholic, but I'm a Non-Catholic and have no plans to convert. I've heard that if Catholics marry Non-Catholics the kids must be raised Catholic. Is that true? I really love this person and want to marry him, but I don't want our future kids to have to be raised Catholic. I believe in letting kids grow and along the way figure out what their beliefs are. I don't want our kids to have beliefs forced on them by their father. What should I do?

Answer
Dear Danielle:

At one time it was a requirement that the non-Catholic party to a mixed marriage agree to raise any children that they might have as Catholics. Today this is no longer the case. The Church now just asks that the non-Catholic be informed that the Catholic party has a right to raise the children as Catholics.

Your suggestion that you are going to just let the children choose a religion after they mature I see as neglecting your duty as a parent. Apparently, you do not believe in Catholicism or Protestantism. If you did you certainly should desire to teach your children the faith. It is strange thinking to me for a parent to think that she can let her children grow up without spiritual guidance and expect that they will make a good choice of religion.  Why should the children care about religion? Mom and Dad by their example of non- concern would be teaching them that religion is of little, if any, importance.   Please consider a different approach to raising any children that you may have. Since you don't seem to care to raise them in any particular religion why not let your future husband raise them as Catholics?

Know that I will be praying for you.

God Bless You,
Sal