Expert: Griff Ruby - 4/25/2007

Question
Dear Griff,

                 You seem like an honest individual. I am a Roman Catholic young adult. Who has a passion of the faith of God I defend Mary and God when they have been blasphamied and said in vain. I am falling deeper into my faith. I see many people going to become priest and pastors even nuns and brothers. I have a faith that is very dear to me I am still concerned what is the women's role in the religious life are they to take the image of Mary. I have a calling to religious life I always did for 13 years I am 21 now I had this call from Mother Mary at the age of eight! My other questions are what is your answer to people in spiritualism I mean what do you think about divination and physchics even mediums and such. Are they not of God I am confused because some say they are in God's conscience. And I dont want to deal with confusion and such I am very faithful to God and being the best I can be. What do you think of women and men in general that dont dress like the biblical times I mean I really wish that came back. I loved how Jesus and Mary dressed in those times. I hate the outfits now and it pretty and everything but to be honest its very hard to please God with Modesty in todays modern world. I mean women wearing pants and men okaying that What ever happend to women wearing shirts and dresses like little house on the praire I am so sad about that. My mother calls me an old soul lol sort of speak. I am not big on make up and even wearing what is hot in fashion I mean who cares people should like you for you not for what you look like and how you dress I think that is a waste of time you can look fashionable and pretty with wearing modest clothing am I right Griff. I also want to say how do you get unconfussed because I want to make sure that the nuns life is my call. How do I know I am so confused.

Answer
My extreme apology for the delay in my response.  You really caught me at an extraordinarily busy time.  However, some of the delay is also that I take the time to pray over your question and meditate on it.  I only allow one or two questions a day in order to give time to think about and respond to the true need of the person who asks.
Be all that as it may, there is one big ticket item I must pass on to you.
You wonder about spiritualism, divination, mediums, and so forth.  All of these things are so utterly against everything that God and Mary stand for that it is difficult to reconcile your interest in such things with your evident desire to serve God.
The Devil is also a spiritual being, who would like nothing more than to see one of God's loving and faithful children fall into any sort of prideful or false spirituality.  For luring people into the sins of the flesh is only one of the demonic strategies being used against humanity.  False spirituality is another strategy of the evil one.
St. Jerome wrote that "Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ."  And Sacred Scripture is quite clear on what God has to say about all of these things, which in fact come under the heading of sorcery or witchcraft, false prophecy, magicians (we are not talking theatrical stage magicians here but those who actually call up demons), and soothsayers.  Allow me to introduce you to a couple Biblical passages (and there are many many more!)  The nation of Babylon had long been the home and source of such mediums and necromancers and astrologers and suchlike for "spiritual guidance."  Isaiah declared (and wrote, in Isaiah chapter 47 verses 12 to 14) Stand now with thy enchanters, and with the multitude of thy sorceries, in which thou hast labored from thy youth, if so be it may profit thee any thing, or if thou mayst become stronger.  Thou hast failed in the multitude of thy counsels:  Let now the astrologers stand now and save thee, they that gazed at the stars, and counted the months, that from them they might tell the things that shall come to thee.  Behold they are as stubble, fire hath burnt them, they shall not deliver themselves from the power of the flames: there are no coals wherewith they may be warmed, nor fire, that they may sit thereat."  The other would be in 1 Kings (1 Samuel for those Bibles that don't have four books of Kings) chapter 28.  I will summarize here, but get a Bible and read it for yourself.  King Saul has been abandoned by God for his continued obstinacy against the will of God, in favor of the new rising king David.  King Saul had always felt that he could get a word from God from the prophet Samuel, but Samuel was now dead.  One thing King Saul had done that was obedient to God was that he had all the magicians and soothsayers and those with a divining spirit put out of the land of Israel.  But how he wants one to help him talk to Samuel, and his men find one in the town of Endor.  Samuel indeed comes, though it is far more usual for mere demons to impersonate the deceased, only to condemn him and to pronounce judgment against Saul.
One more scripture I will give you, and that is in Acts 16:16-18:  "And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain girl, having a pythonical spirit, met us, who brought to her masters much gain by divining.  This same following Paul and us, cried out, saying: These men are the servants of the most high God, who preach unto you the way of salvation.  And this she did many days.  But Paul, being grieved, turned, and said to the spirit: I commend thee, in the name of Jesus Christ, to go out from her.  And he went out the same hour."
So one hopefully gets a glimpse of just how hostile God and the Bible are against these things.  Such practices often lead to (and only begin to work because of) the person doing them coming to be demon possessed.
So you MAJOR LEAGUE need to stay away from divination, mediums, necromancers, psychics, and so forth.
If any of these things still have any appeal to you, think of love of God as being like love of a husband.  A man other than one's husband, though indeed a man, would be adultery to love instead of one's husband.  As the Church we are collectively the Bride of Christ, and all the more individually as well as when we take vows as a nun to be specifically a bride of Christ.  What spiritual adultery it would be to divide our love between our true destiny Jesus Christ and any other rival (demonic) spirits!
All of this is separate and distinct from seeking the will of God.  But God would have you use the ordinary means of learning of His will for you first and foremost.  If one is not willing to take the time to learn what God as already spoken in Scripture and in the Sacred Tradition of His holy Church, why should God speak anything else more specific directly to your heart?  No, the first thing to do is to become rooted in what God would have all of us believe in the teachings (summarized in the Creed), obey the Commandments (summarized along the lines of the famous "Ten Commandments" of God and also the "Six Commandments" of the Church), and avail ourselves of the grace of the seven Sacraments, and also prayer and sacramentals.
You come to God and His Church at a difficult time to get a straight answer these days.  But it was not always so, nor can it always remain so as it is now.  This is why I urge you to learn of your Faith from the most standard and authoritative sources, from which you will learn the truth and never have to "unlearn" what you have learned.  There is much in print that comes from the days before the present confusion, catechisms, theological works, devotional writings, lives of saints, sermons of saints, declarations of Councils, Papal Encyclicals, and so forth.  There is much to read and much to know, for the vastness of the Catholic Faith, like that of the created material universe itself, infinitely bigger than we imagine, or even than we can imagine.
Obviously we will never learn it all in this lifetime, indeed it will take literally all of eternity to understand it all, but it is essential to be rooted in the basics, to have a sufficient understanding that we shall not be deceived by the many false religions and teachers and prophets and spirits of divination there are out there.  Like searching for home, we don't have to know everything about it, but we must know enough that we cannot mistake some other house for our own home, for a house with the same color, or the same number on the front, or even of the same architectural design (especially in this day of tract houses and planned devopments) could still be some other house and not your home.  So it is with the Faith.
A good solid catechism would be one titled "My Catholic Faith" by Louis LaRavoire (do a Google search to find where you can buy it online).
Since you are also rightly concerned as to what is appropriate in dress, I also recommend "Dressing with Dignity" by Colleen Hammond, available from TAN Books and Publishers ( http://www.tanbooks.com ).  It is possible to dress decently even these days, even if it requires one to sew their own clothes.  And being attractive in the sense of being presentable is in no way a sin, only using the immodest fashions of the day (or any other immodest fashions of any other period for that matter) which would be sinful.
Now to the important question.  You are wondering what you can do as a woman in the Church.  I hope and trust that you understand why it is that the priesthood is as closed off to you as motherhood is to me (a man).  That does not mean that a woman could not achieve great learning and contribute much to educating and edifying the Church, or even a degree of authority, as in the Mother Superior of a convent, but only that the sacramental priesthood is out of the question.  You will never say Mass.
There are many things a woman can do, and I suggest that one way to see such things would be to read the lives of saintly women, not only of Mary herself, but Saints Catherine of Siena, Rita, Thérèse de Lisieux, Teresa of Avila, Joan of Arc, Frances Cabrini, Elizabeth Ann Seton, Cecilia, Brigid, Gertrude the Great, and so many others.
There is far more to life than merely choosing between being a nun versus being a wife and mother.  If you become a nun, what would you hope to achieve as a nun?  Would you educate young minds in the Church at a school, teach at nun's retreats, leave the world altogether as a contemplative, take care of the sick, become outspoken against heresy or abortion or irreverence, or what?  I am not asking you to tell me, but these are things to think about.  I think as you read the Catechism and come to understand what God seeks to achieve in this world through His Church and through we Catholics in particular, I hope that some point will speak out to you and help you realize that this is something you also care about and might have a talent to help with.  Such is the nature of finding one's calling.
But before one can even embark upon any calling, a practice of virtue is essential.  History is full of fanatics whose disordered life directions have accomplished nothing of any lasting value.  We ARE called to have a "fanatical" degree of devotion, but it must be obedient to the direction of God and of His Church.  It is this directed, organized, coordinated action, carried out with a fanatical degree of devotion, which has achieved much in the world for the Church and for God, never the lone fanatic who gets some "heavy Revelation" and then attempts to impose it on everyone they encounter.
For there does exist such a thing as a "Christian Devil," a person who snoops into the lives of others, always thinking the worst of them, prying into their lives, and appointing themselves everyone's chaperone.  "Busybody" is not a valid ministry in the Church, nor is "gossip."  Such could never be a valid calling under any circumstances.
Do you obey your parents?  While obviously one would not obey a command to sin, such as if they were to tell you to sleep with a boyfriend, but in all that is not sin you should obey them.  Do they ask of you to get an education (and would they provide for it)?  Then you must do so.  Do they ask of you that you take care of yourself, try to keep yourself clean and presentable?  Then that becomes your sacred duty even if you feel a calling to the contrary.  For obedience is a way of life to all that would achieve sanctity, obedience to parents, to husband (if you marry), to the law of the land, to employers, to the priests and bishops over you, to your religious superior (if you enter a convent), and so forth.  But you can practice that now.  Obedience, especially when it is unpleasant, such as when directed to eat something that tastes terrible, is of great power and virtue.  Patience is another virtue.  Learn to wait on God.  He will provide what He deems to provide in His own good time.  And what He does not provide would not be good for you anyway.
I have reviewed some of the questions you have put to some of the other experts here, and one other interest attracts my notice.  You are concerned for the authentic traditions of the Church.  You are aware that "parishes" commonly found today bear little if any relation to Catholicism in belief or practice.  That the Mass has been destroyed beyond all possible recognition, and the true Mass exiled to rare, obscure, and far away locations.  These are valid concerns, and you are right to call for a return to the "old" way (actually simply the "Catholic" way) of doing things.  And that gets back to the prevailing confusion of these days, when a straight answer is difficult to come by.  Perhaps you sense a calling to be a nun, but your Catholic instincts recoil at the thought of placing yourself in a position of being bound to obedience to those who divert your efforts to activities you already know to be against God, whole convents of "nuns" who press for priestesses and liberalism and communism (under any number of names other than that), and of spreading a false and watered-down "catechism" about circles of family and community and what not, and singing Kumbaya.  And many modernist "nuns" don't even dress like nuns but like ordinary women (appropriate in a way since they do not serve God anyway).  In my single days I even asked one such out on a date!
Unfortunately, even those of us who are traditional Catholics, Latin-Mass attending and old catechism-believing, often times we too are a bit confused by the present situation, and at times disagree with each other about these difficult questions.  We want to be loyal to the Pope as the successor of Saint Peter, but no one sufficiently acts in that capacity to be worthy of this loyalty.  We are exiled Sir Lancelots, grieving over the lack of a worthy king to serve.  It is not a pleasant situation, and many attempting to address it do so incompletely, and at times even unworthily.  Where is the balance?  Where is the sense of perspective so desperately needed?  For that is something I sense you have need of, and something few have the capacity to provide.  Who can you trust?  Who isn't out to exploit your labors to their own selfish ends?  There is God of course, but after Him what, or who?  This is why I direct you to the older books on the Faith, before all the confusion arose, and whose authors are now dead and cannot profit by your reading their works and being guided thereby (except by your prayers for the repose of their souls if in Purgatory).
I also want to point you to what few living communities of believers as still live and believe as what the Church has always taught (though most clearly only before the present confusion), and with who there are truly good convents that would not squander your fanatical devotion in useless dissipation but focus your prayer and works towards a life of great sanctity and achieve much for the Kingdom of God.  I have written a book chronicling the present crisis, not only the root causes and effects of the present confusion, but far more importantly focusing on the true succession of the clear and lawful Church where the true Faith lives to this day.  The CMRI and SSPV each have splendid orders for nuns, as does the SSPX, and it is to these I would point you.
The book I have written is called "The Resurrection of the Roman Catholic Church," and is available both in print and also can be read online ( http://www.the-pope.com/library.html#resurr ) and this should provide as much perspective on the present crisis as can be provided today.
And do not rule out the possibility of wife and mother being your calling either, though I must admit the calling of a nun more likely in your case.  For Mary is the patron saint not only of consecrated religious through her own uncompromised virginity, obedience to her husband Joseph and to the Temple, and poverty of retaining only enough for the bare necessities, but also of motherhood through her bearing and raising the Holy Infant, nursing Him, bathing Him, feeding Him, and tending to all His needs and adoring Him.
I hope this all helps, and that it was worth the wait (good things come to those who wait).  God bless!