we have an 8 year old moggy who we have had for 4 years. Ever since we have had her, and in her previous home (relatives of ours) she has been incredibly timid. She will run and hide if strangers are in the house - only coming out from under the bed after several hours. She will bolt as soon as my husband or myself stand up - walking past her for example make her run away. She seems to live in a perpetual state of nervousness! we have never been able to put her in a cattery - taking he anywhere in the car makes her wail for the whole journey anyway. she will only go to the vets because it is where her previous owner worked, and is fine there - however its a 30minute drive away, and I don't dare try to take her to another one! She usually wont be picked up, she will cry and struggle if we try. however, she is affectionate to me and sometimes to my husband, to the point sometimes whenit becomes over the top - if I am in bed she will immediately jump up, and rool around, headbutting me until I give her affection. she is also very vocal - constantly meows, sometimes for 15 mins or more as soon as we walk in the door from work. My husband jokes that she has special needs - but I think she actually does! waht I would like advice on is if there is anything we can do to make her life a bit less stressful - she just lives in a perpetual state of fear, and I worry that she cant much be enjoying it! we dont have any kids, and the only other pet is a house rabbit who ignores the cat mostly. there havent been any changes around recently - and she has always been like this anyway. she was in a house with other cats before - so I wonder would it help to have another cat around? also, we are thinking of starting a family soon - and I just wonder if that would be the final straw for the cat, having a crying baby around! any advice you could give would be great.
sadly some cats are just like this and always remain timid. However it also has a lot to do with how we are around our pets. If we act timidly around her or are not as confident around them they sort of sense that and become worse. I don't know if you have ever seen that programme called the dog whisperer, his advice also rings true for cats. If we are in control and are confident around our animals it helps them to feel confident themselves. I say all this because my little cat hates to be picked up and when we first got her from the animal shelter she too was very timid. But my partner was very confident with her from the beginning and would pick her up in such a way that at first she struggled but because he held her in a way that would not make her feel threatened she soon settles down.
It is very difficult for me to give you specific advice for your cat as you have had them for some time now and as they are now eight may be set in their ways now. All i can advise is that you read my page about scared and nervous cats (link at bottom of page) and i hope that it may give you some ideas on how to help your cat. However i;m sure she is not too upset as if she was unhappy of distressed you would be experiencing urinating etc issues which is a way that cats show their distress and insecurities.