Expert: Karen Craft - 1/18/2008

Question
Hi, I had a question about why my cat is so scared of literally everything and everyone.  Ive had him for over a year now, hes about a year and a half I got him when he was 6 months old from the Animal Shelter.  As far as I recall he has been there since he was very young.  So I can see maybe him having some social problems due to that.

However I for the most part shower him with love and affection, though occasionally he might be acting innapropriately or annoying, and ill sternly tell him no or throw him a toy so he can occupy himself, but I rarely yell at him.  (I will admit I occasionally do, but I have some personality disorders so occasionally I yell when I dont mean to or anything.)

Anyways, despite a few scary things on my part (I wont admit im the greatest owner, I love my little kiddo, but I am imperfect and troubled, and while I suppose to many thats no excuse, thats mine.)

For the most part I'm not allowed to pick him up at all, he will just run wherever he wants.  I am not allowed to comb his fur so he gets less furballs because he squirms away, I reach to pet him, I can only hold my hand down and wait patiently for him to come over and even then sometimes he just runs away when I try to pet him even though thats exactly what hes coming to me for.  

I guess I just don't know if theres anything I can do to make him friendlier.  Ive thought a couple times of giving him up, because maybe I'm just not capable of living together with him and should find a more sociable affectionate cat, or that I should just give him up and not get another cat.

I just dont want him to get put down because no one wants him, since again he had been there for about 6 months and all his brothers and sisters were gone but he was still there, so thats partially why I picked him up.

I guess im just frustrated and sad and stuff, and any help/opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Answer
Hi Alex,

Get some deli chicken. Use this to tempt him to you. Try to get him to sit in your lap to get the treat. It will take a little time but this should do the trick. This will allow him to associate you with good things. Pet him gently when he's in your lap. He will need to get used to your touch. When he wants to leave let him. He will soon come to you on his own. Good luck.

Ciao, Karen