Expert: Ali - 9/27/2008

Question
Hi Ali,

  I have never really been raised up with cats in my childhood, however many of my friends growing up have had cats and I know that like humans, cats have their own personality. I have seen cats that you can run full speed at yelling and screaming and they wont even budge they stay as friendly as ever. I  have also seen cats who even with the slightest movement will go tearing off for a place to hide and hiss at you!
  Unfortunately my wifes cat (my step-cat if you will) and I did not get along at all! When my wife first adopted her from the humane society it was basically her and the cat in a very quiet apartment, this cat was used to getting anything she wanted and going anywhere she wanted.
 Now this is where I come in. Me, having grown up with dogs probably made some very stupid mistakes probably by trying to train her to stay out of closets and away from our counters. I never hit the cat or anything of the sort, I would simply pick her up and put her out of the closet. Anyway, to make a long story short, this cat was a very very skittish cat and the slightest movement by me when my wife wasn't around would cause her to hiss at me and run away. Whenever I was around she would stay in a corner and just stare at me. As much as I didn't care for the cat, it saddens me to tell you she passed away recently.
  Here is where my question comes in. We just adopted two sweet kittens, both sisters, that love and play healthily with each other. When I talk to different people they tell me I should do what I can to socialize the kittens. I have read a few of your articles and will take your advice for what I have seen, such as playing music for them and slowly turning the volume up to let them adjust to loud noises. People tell me that I need to pet the cats a lot and pick them up so they become used to it. Is this a correct thing to do? If it is, I don't want to go too far and have them become so sick of pets they don't ever want to be petted. When should I start socializing these kittens? (They are probably 2-3 months old and we have only had them a couple of days) They are still in a stage that if I stand up they either run or are indifferent. When I do pet them, they enjoy it very much and purr.
 My overall question would be, what are the best techniques to "socialize" a cat, should I be picking them up and petting them a lot? Should I let them be and let their own personalities come out and let them come to me? Any advice you have would be appreciated...I want them to become very affectionate cats...or at least cats I know I can walk past without them hissing or else it's going to be a long 15+ years!

Answer
Thomas,

There are a few important steps to take when socializing young kittens. The more different experiences that you expose a kitten to the less apprehensive they will be as they grow into adulthood. If one or both of the kittens seem nervous or shy then socialization is different than it would be for more confident kittens. Socialization is a process that allows you to ensure that your kittens grow up to be well rounded adults. It's important to make sure that your kittens are comfortable being handled in situations like vet visits so socialization can certainly be started by getting the kittens used to someone looking in their ears, cleaning away any discharge from their eyes, handling their paws and touching all parts of their body as a vet would during a physical exam. When it comes to clipping sharp kitten nails I would suggest that you take the route of least resistance - cut the nails while the girls are in a deep sleep, their sub-conscious will register that their feet are being handled, but you won't have to worry about mischief taking them away while you're in the middle of clipping the nails. It's a good idea to expose your kittens to as many different types of people as you can, if you and your wife are considering having a family or you already have children it's important to allow children (your own or friends') to interact with the kittens under adult supervision. Supervising children while they handle and play with young kittens prevents injury to both parties and ensures that the children handle the little ones properly. Play is also an important part of socialization - allow the girls to play with each other and work out their place within the household hierarchy, interfering in play fighting between siblings can cause behavioral issues further down the line, as long as nobody is getting injured and skin doesn't get broken things are fine between littermates. Be sure to play with the kittens using interactive toys like kitty teases and kitten mittens, play creates and reinforces bonding between cat guardian and cats. Little games of catch the feather or using one of the countless varieties of prey sized toys can sometimes lead to the discovery of hidden talents in your kittens. For example my oldest cat will catch toys in midair and bat them between her paws while my youngest resident cat will play fetch and travel throughout the house carrying her toys. Treat training isn't just for dogs, kittens can be trained fairly early on to obey simple commands if you are patient and consistent. Teaching a kitten to sit and stay can be useful - for instance at some point down the line, if you have friends over or order a pizza and the kittens start to come to the door you can ask them to sit which will allow your guest to come inside or the pizza delivery driver to be paid and hand over dinner. Do not set yourself up for kittens that can be annoying - any treats that you would like to give from the table should be given only after the meal is finished and the table is cleared, nobody likes a begging kitten while they're trying to eat. Feeding the kittens daily is also a good way to bond with them - if you feed the little ones they will actually view you as being quite an important part of their family. Have fun with the kittens, try to make sure that they get a fair amount of handling, but don't overdo it and if the kittens haven't yet been vaccinated be sure to have anyone who would like to handle them wash their hands thoroughly with hot soapy water as unvaccinated kittens are quite vulnerable to viral and bacterial infections. In order to have kittens grow up to be affectionate and well mannered cats you will need to take the time and interact with them, largely you get back what you give, if you place the kittens on ignore they won't bond with you while over stimulating them and constantly coddling them can lead to annoying behaviors or even separation anxiety. It's important to be aware that each cat or kitten has their own unique personality and temperament so you likely won't have the same relationship with each kitten. The last tip that I would like to share relates to the kittens' travel crates - if you don't want to have World War 3 when trying to get the kittens into the carriers for their routine vet care I would suggest that you keep the carriers out and accessible for the kittens, that way they don't associate them strictly with going to the vet and they will be more easily convinced to go inside. Hopefully this information will provide you with a good start when it comes to socializing your two new feline friends.