Expert: Tina - 9/9/2008

Question
I have a 3 year old male cat named Riley, he is fixed and he is very friendly and gentle but very independent and only wants cuddles on his terms, normally right before bedtime or first thing in the morning.  We used to have a dog and 2 rabbits and they all got along and played together all of the time.  A few weeks ago, I decided to adopt a kitten from one of the local shelters named Nico.  She is 4 months old and is not being spayed until October.  She had a rough start to life and is absolutely terrified of everything, very timid.  She is however, very very affectionate and has to be near me at all times when I am home.  If I am in the kitchen cooking, she is right at my feet...if i am sleeping she is right there beside me all of the time.  When I first brought her home, she sort of surprised me and appeared to boss Riley around.  Now however, Riley constantly tries to jump on Nico and bite her neck.  I haven't seen him actually get her as she is rather quick at getting away from him and hiding.  I have not noticed any sores on her neck or anywhere else that would indicate he was getting to her either. I did keep them separated for the first week but they have both had free run of the house since then even when I am not home.  
I am starting to feel guilty as I think it may be a jealousy thing.  I work nights so I am gone for 10 - 12 hours at a time and when I get home I make a point of saying hello to Riley first, Nico 2nd.  When I go to sleep I make sure to offer Riley his spot on the bed where he would have normally slept but with Nico there by my side he refuses to come up.  Yesterday I came home from work to find that someone had pooped on my bed and I have heard that is a sign that they are mad at you/something.

I am really at a loss of what to do and I am not sure if this is a sign of aggression with Riley (the biting and jumping)or if he is simply trying to show the little one who is boss or if it is jealousy and I'm not sure how to correct the problem.  I try really hard not to pay more attention to one over the other but its really hard when Nico is constantly all over me, yet I don't want to make her feel abandoned or anything by keeping her away from me.
Any ideas??


Answer
Hi Brennly,

So far you've been doing a good job of introducing the 2 cats and by keeping Riley #1 so he doesn't feel more jealous. However part of his behavior is probably because Nico is not yet spayed. The neck-biting behavior you describe is dominant behavior but it is also sexual behavior of male cats towards female cats. Even though Riley is neutered he can still be affected by Nico's pheremones and he's probably responding to her as an unspayed female.

At 4 months old, as long as she is healthy, Nico is old enough to be spayed. Many vets claim that younger cats actually recover faster from the surgery and there are fewer complications. I would recommend getting her spayed as soon as possible, no need to wait another month.

Another thing that may help is Feliway - a spray available at pet stores and online (just do a search on the name). It mimicks calming pheremones present in cats' cheeck glands. It helps reduce inappropriate elimination (going outside the box) and it also helps reduce territorial behavior and aggression. So if part of Riley's behavior is territorial the Feliway should help.

As you already seem to know, never punish Riley for going after Nico, even with a water spray bottle etc... because he will simply start to resent her more if he associates her presence with an unpleasant experience. Instead, give him more attention and/or treats when she is around.

Finally, I want to make sure you have at least 2 large litter uncovered boxed available in different areas of the house, in case Riley stakes one out and doesn't let Nico near it. It's important that they are not covered because cats who are being stalked will feel trapped inside a covered box and won't go in. I use a high-sided box to keep litter from scattering but the top is open, like this one:

http://www.thecatconnection.com/page/TCC/PROD/LTR-PAN/5608

You might want to try Cat Attract litter, it contains a herb that attracts cats and encourages them to use the box. I have used it successfully in re-training cats with litter box problems. Always make sure the litter is unscented, any perfumes will drive cats away. Some brands even say "unscented" but then they sitll smell like perfume!

http://www.thecatconnection.com/page/TCC/PROD/LTR/2954

Good luck, persist and you'll eventually get harmony in your home!