Expert: Norman Auspitz - 10/1/2009

Question
Hi Norman:
For 10 years now, I've been an extremely happy owner of a female cat named Nye.  A year ago I decided to adopt "a friend" for her, and there came Primo, a male.
Nye has always been rather timid, but secure and social cat, never been with other cats.  Primo is super-hyper-energy kitten, very perceptive.  He has some agression issues (will bite me till his last breath upon my attempts to clip his nails every 2 weeks).  But this is my main issue with the two cats:
Since day one, Primo has had a habit of chasing Nye.  In the beginning, she did not mind it, and even played hide-and-seek with him.  After a while, she's had enough but he will not let her move (literally) without being chased upon.  Nye's only safe heaven is kitchen table- this is about the only place she can go to, where Primo will not reach her (yet).  Nye's been practically immobile.  She is not 'free' to walk around the apartemnt, and I have not seen her do that for months now.  She growls on Primo when he is near her, but has never hurt him (and she surely could, she is huge and very strong).
Despite all this, they sleep together (but with a distance) on my bed at night.
Primo's tail is almost always very high up- does it mean he's trying to be dominant?  Is he being agressive or just playing?  How should I react to such behavior?  I have no idea whether I should intervene or let them work things out- it has been a year already, though...  
It really upset me this morning to see that Nye was trying to walk into her litter box, and when Primo first noticed her- he, of course, ran to chase her (and she could not use her bathroom).  I gave him "a time out", but I am not sure that was the right thing to do.
Please, please help.  They are both good cats- I am just lost at what is going on, and how I should behave...
Thank you so much!
Barbara

Answer
Barbara,

I have two rules when it comes to cat inter-relationships. (1) All human interference is counter productive and (2) We mere humans do not understand the rules or the rituals.  We also have a tendency to attribute human emotions and motives to what cats do, but, they do not think like we do (with the exception of jealousy).  So, my philosophy is to let them work it out for themselves and be satisfied with the outcomes.

So, is Nye off her feed?  Is she not using the litter pan as normal and going somewhere else?  If the answer is yes to either of these, then there is no problem between the two.

As to the tail up like a flag, this indicates contentment, interest, and satisfaction.

It seems to me they have found the way they want to inter-relate, although it may not be what you had expected.  I would respect that and leave things alone.  You are correct in that a year is long enough for them to establish their relationship.

In summary, I would just leave things be unless there truly is a problem.  BTW, sometimes a second litter pan in a different part of the apartment can make all the difference in the world.

Best regards... Norm.